Say You Love Me



“The opposite of love is not hate Mark, it is indifference. When she does not care about anything you do, know you have lost her.”

I wish someone told me of this early enough. I messed up, worse off I got caught. Things have been awful at home. I need to make things work. I need to get her back by all means. I miss my wife. I miss knowing that she thinks about me. I miss holding her in my arms-and even her smile. I have never seen or heard her cry. I guess I am the first one to make her bear so much pain. This has just messed me up and why did she call me? It was just one night of fun and I paid her well. She was not meant to call. Anyway she did so and that’s why Beryl left.

I met Nelson at the court and he told me she wants a divorce. He even showed me what he was drafting-she wanted a clean exit. She did not want to split property or take anything from me; rather she wants to get rid of my last name. I had three shots of Tequila that afternoon as Nelson advised me on what to do. He asked me why she was seeking divorce and I couldn’t tell him. I referred him to his client. Nelson has been my friend for a few years. He was in the same law firm as me before he got promoted to another branch within town. I took up the role of senior partner; word is that he is still doing his best to get there. The man is the best divorce attorney I have ever met in Kenya. He can get his clients the house or the children with just one word! I knew if Beryl went through with the divorce she would win. I love her. I know I messed up and I am doing what I can to get a second chance knowing I would not mess it up.

God how I wish I never went out that night. How I wish that I could go back and set things straight. Some of the guys laughed it off. They could not understand that with Beryl is the gentleness and never ending support that any man would be lucky to have. She is the ideal wife and I messed it up. I am sick of all this silence.

Do you know how we met? It was at a restaurant. She was seated at the table at the far end of the restaurant slowly going through a ladies magazine. I had to update a requisition letter for a client, and needed a place to plug my laptop charger. Her table was the only one located near a plug and I asked if I could join her. It was her smile that blew me away. I did not expect it but she asked me what I was engrossed in. I told her about what I did and she smiled and said, ‘no wonder you look all suited up!’ I must have laughed a while before it hit me that she was leaving. I gave her my card if ever she needed legal advice and she gave me hers saying that if ever I needed to buy a house or an apartment I could call her.

“How about coffee tomorrow evening?”


“Yes, I’d be honored.”

“Name the place and time and I will be there.”

“How about right here?”

“I will see you then Mark, have a wonderful day.”

“You too Beryl.”

I watched her leave before saving her number on my phone list in case I lost her card. I am careless with business cards and my clients know that too. In fact they always laugh about it at the firm that for a lawyer I lose the most vital information. I always retort that it’s better that way clients pay consultation fee!

Credit: Say You Love Me, 2012, Dora Okeyo


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