In my own way

I swore that I’d never immortalize you,

I swore in between smiles, but you…you know what it means to pull me close and ask me to stay away.

You laughed at this…’how can you not write?’

I swore and even then, the voice inside my head raised a toast to the lie.

I knew that I would write about you. I would say what you left unsaid.

I would make mountains out of one molehill.

I would wind myself up in my doubts, fears, insecurities until this wedge was drawn between us. It would not be your fault, because hey, the world’s tough on your kind…the world is so harsh that you do as you please, collecting ‘karma points’ as you go your way.

A karma point equals every heart you break.

Every tear shed, every prayer for the universe to wrench your heart out of its cage, every time you said ‘you are the most beautiful girl’ or ‘I love you’ or ‘she means nothing to me’ to every girl. Karma points that the universe redeems when you finally find the one your heart yearns for but she ain’t got time for you.

The voice inside my head said all this as we talked of the beauty within us.

In my own way, I listened to this voice and when you stepped back, choosing to go your way, find your path without a word…I only stood there smiling and wished you well.

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