Before I Go

Here we are, in this moment, this time…

Ours is a love unlike no other…for I have no idea of any other kind of love,

So, I hold onto my heart, pull up my sleeves,

Look around this small room…smile when all I want to do is cry.

Cry for, I wish my Dad was here…walking me down that aisle,

Looking at you with the kind of eyes that command “don’t you dare break her heart!”

Cry for, everything I thought I’d never feel, I do…it overwhelms me.

bride holding bouquet of flowers
usplash.com

I am not this kind of woman, I do not tear up at the thought of walking down that aisle to you…it’s a day like any other day, the sun has risen and it will set.

I do not shiver at the thought of what we’d create,

I do not cower at the thought of disappointing you…at some point, I will and I am sorry.

So, before the organ plays “Guide me, Oh Thou Great Jehovah,” and I take my first step on that carpet leading to you,

Before I go anywhere but here, I want you to know that I am as whole as I am broken.

I do not expect you to fix what’s broken in me, I do not expect you to chip away at my wholeness.

I do not wish any sorrow upon you by choosing to walk this path with me,

I’ll get angry at you, I’ll keep what scares me to myself at times, not because I do not trust you, but because I am not strong enough to face it then…patience, is all I ask for…and Heaven knows we’ll need it.

You’ve waited for twelve years, you’ve bled more than you let on…and I’ve watched you but never helped…

Oh, that your love may see you through…it’s all I pray for, before I go.

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