Impasse

I refuse to look back.

Not at your wounded heart, neither your pleas nor touch would make me reconsider.

I refuse to travel back to the point where you wounded me.

Stardust, how is it that we orbit each other only to wound ourselves?

How is it that you who knows me all too well can break me when I am whole?

How is it that when I decide to leave, you draw me back?

I refuse to look back Stardust.

So, we stare at each other…I am seated directly opposite you and she is somewhere in the next room doing her best to locate her clothes.

I like her.

She’s got a warm body, beautiful smile and more so because just like me, she fell for your charms. The difference is that she let you trail your hands over her body…while I struggle to let you linger…a touch is like a prick, and you often say “these miles you’ve set between us will one day set us apart.”

I have asked her to stay. She’s not at fault. She’s as shocked and worried as you are, because she does not understand how you would drop her like hot coal for someone who is just a friend.

Stardust, you deserve the world. I lay it your feet. You win.

Woman Sitting Down on Table
lucas da miranda/ pexels.com

How then is it that I ought to come to you as ‘yours’ when you relish everyone else? Oh, how the world is your buffet and us minions but snippets of delicacies that you may or may not relish.

I refuse to look back Stardust, so now we are at an impasse- my feet folded beneath me on this couch, my eyes, an ocean of hurt and your soul, gone…

I refuse to look back Stardust because I know in doing so, my heart may blossom at the moments you made it soar and it may just ask me to stay.

Do not ask me to stay.

Release me Stardust…I deserve the world, so curl your feet, let me pick it up and walk into the light.

Release me Stardust.

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