You come to me in waves,
I know not to flee for when I do, your scent assails me wherever I go.
You come to me on your terms and sometimes,
Just sometimes…I wish I could wake you up.
I wish you cared a little more,
I wish you would have told me this before,
So, I would not try to cage you…to grasp you in my hand, in the comfort of my palms pressing closer, drawing the life out of you.
They told you a man had to stand his ground,
They told you not to let me have my way with you,
So, you chose them over a quiet dinner with me,
You chose them because it felt safe not to be mocked by them.
So, I brought down the walls of the cage I had set up for you…
I took one step back, then two, then three and when you were not looking, I ran.
I did not catch my breath,
17 missed calls…12 texts, 8 missed video calls,
I ran because it was safer to be miles away from you than to stay and let you treat me as your status dictated.
Now, here we are…you are a shadow of yourself and I have no regrets.
You want to speak of everything now, you want to pour it out but at the gate of your heart lies this barrier, the one that still calls me the villain, and I see it in your eyes
Hold me while you wait, hold onto me while you wait,
Maybe…just maybe, you’ll one day find the courage to live on your own terms,
Now, here we are, you are a shadow of yourself and I have no regrets.