I heard the phrase, ‘to kill a person with a borrowed knife,’ and it reminded me of how fluid language is. Of the worlds we create with the stories we tell ourselves and choose to listen to.

An acquaintance was disappointed by her father’s actions and decision to sit back while she expected the opposite of him. So, on and on she went speaking of how weak and insecure he was and I listened, not because she demanded me to but because like most of the people I know, it’s easier to make use of your friend who has that Counseling experience and training for free. Sometimes, they are kind enough to buy me my favorite- coffee and chocolate fudge cake.

And when she did breathe, she looked at me and asked, ‘do you think I am being unreasonable?’ I was unprepared for her sudden pause and thought it through, then asked ‘is your father a god or deity that he’s beyond flaw?’

‘No, I didn’t say that. You know he’s not.’

‘But do you know and accept that he is not a god and does not reside up above on that pedestal you put him on?’

‘What are you saying?’

‘I am saying that we treat our parents as gods. Yes, they nurture and provide for us and even protect us up until we can fend for ourselves, and when we see them struggle and falter we believe they have lost it? Isn’t it funny then? Our parents also have scars, they also fail and until we stop treating them as gods, as above reproach, then we too can take a step back and forgive ourselves.’

She laughed at this after a while and said, ‘You assume that I treat my father like he is above failure. I do not.’

And like every conversation that somehow hits a wall, I found myself looking around the cafe and sipping my coffee as she changed the story to something else.

These days, and especially during and post COVID-19 I find myself forgiving the elders in my family for the times they fell short, and I can’t help but be amused by Greek mythology, in reading about how the gods and goddesses would punish each other over trivial matters they could easily resolve. How we put people on pedestals without consulting them and judging them when they fall off the cloud we placed them.