And so the wise one said, “words get forgotten, if you don’t use them, they eventually die.”
So, if you love them- tell them.
If you are tired, say it.
If you are scared, say it.
Category: Insight
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Tiffany Freeman took this: http://www.pexels.com -
I saw this,
And it reminded me of a feeling,
Nothing grand, just calm…
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We still have two days to the end of this month, but since I’m here I can’t just up and leave and wait for June to come bearing her awesomeness without sharing some key updates from May.
Reading: I got to read some books on Netgalley this month, and can’t wait to catch up on more books because I have exams in July and that would make the end of June a bit hectic for me to get anything done. So thus far, 45 down…138 to go!
I am currently loving Where the Waters Meet by Zhang Ling.
People: May is my Mom’s birthday month and she’s a straight up Gemini, so getting to sit down to lunch with her and have a laugh made this month awesome.
Work: A lot has happened and I am gearing up for an intensive June because there is room for new projects, new ideas and new direction in the way we work and it is exciting.
Entertainment: Look, this month there was no way I could go by without watching some K-Drama and top of that list has been these two that are soon coming to an end. There is Dr. Cha and The Good Bad Mother (which is described as comedy drama but there’s more heartbreak and pain and thirst for vengeance than there is laugh out loud moments)
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This is the title of the last episode of Hi, Bye Mama! a k-drama that I finished watching yesterday-and it’s about this woman, Cha Yuri who gets a second a chance to be with the people she loves, after being a ghost for 5 years.
As I was watching that final episode, I couldn’t help but go back on the title and it’s truly interesting how a flower may indeed lose its petals, they may fall off, wither or get clipped, but that doesn’t take away the fact that it is a flower. How many times have we fallen short and declared ourselves unworthy?
How many times do I as a Writer beat myself up for not writing anything? Or feeling that I failed at work when something did not go as planned? And just that phrase alone, petals fall but the flower remains- was enough to remind me to be gentle and kind to myself when things do not go as I planned.
This coming week, I want to carry this with me as I go about working on things I yearned for.
Have a great week ahead.
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You come to me like the wind,
soft, harsh, cool, tender, chilled.
You come to me unhinged,
reckless, sensual, cheerful, unbothered.
You come to me in a bind,
tormented, sick, weary, blind.
You come to me,
It’s always you who comes…and you never ask why, how, when or where.
You find me in my dreams, across the street, unbound.
You find me in the shadows, across the hills, bound.
You come to me like the wind,
How is it then that I haven’t learned that I can’t keep what’s free?
Image courtesy of Pexels.com: Kubra Dogu -
It’s a Sunday and I woke up at six in the morning per usual and there was a blackout. My morning class was cancelled and for once I wanted to scream about the hours spent preparing for this class and the desire to go curl into bed and sleep..
Since I was up, I found myself downloading Season 2 of Alchemy of Souls on Netflix-because I was in the mood for some sword fighting courtesy of Jang Uk- again! But, along the way and on my second cup of coffee-I truly wanted to post some life lessons that I have been reflecting upon. This is because yesterday morning, right before class, I finished reading The Owner’s Manual to Life (In case you missed that day in school when they handed it out) by Michael Zajaczkowski. He shares one hundred life lessons and if you’ve gone through life, you may have heard some of them- so you’ll feel some sense of familiarity with it.
So, some of the lessons that I am now reflecting upon are :
- Focus on the twenty four hours ahead of you.
- One sure way to conquer fear; make a decision and take an action.
- The way to make a mountain out of a molehill is to add dirt.
- When I feed the problem, it grows; when I feed the solution, it grows.
- You are never too old to start something new
My absolute life lesson that got me appreciating how far I’ve come, as a person, with my relationships and work was:
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I have been reading and highlighting sections and phrases from the book that’s come all the way from Kenya to Arusha with me, and it’s Brianna Wiest’s “When You’re Ready, This is How You Heal.“
This is a book that provides insights into healing, growth and it felt more like a way of approaching life experiences without regrets or disappointments, so you know I highlighted many phrases and some of those that I want to truly work on include the following-as taken directly from the book:
- Start saying, “Thank you” for what you want as though it has already happened.
- The only story that is ever going to matter is the one you tell yourself.
- You do not need a lot of people to believe in your ability.
- What nobody tells you is that it’s the attachment that hurts. It’s the expectation of what it should be or would be and by when.
- The experiences we can’t release often still hold within them a lesson that has yet to be extracted.
- You will have to start where you are.
- Stop waiting for perfect circumstances.
- A life of more is not one that always expands outward, it’s very often one that opens up inward.
- The circumstances that existed when the relationship began can tell you so much about the relationship itself.
- Heartbreak doesn’t happen with people who are wholly wrong for you. It happens with people who are just right enough to make you hope, but just wrong enough to prevent you from getting closer, or making it official.
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It’s raining in Arusha, and that means it is sweater weather. I think I came at the right time, even though a part of me yearns for more sun, it’s been wonderful meeting people here and doing what got me here in the first place.
So, before I got here- I had a stop-over in Nairobi and I couldn’t resist going into Miniso to buy stationery.
I got into Arusha on Monday, and yesterday had time to go around town and into the village and community where I was scheduled to visit. I checked in for the first half of my trip at Zawadi House Lodge in Sekei Arusha, it is approximately 51kms from the Mt. Kilimanjaro airport.
Then there are the glass bottled sodas which come in 350ml capacity which I absolutely loved- tall, slender, bottles they are. So, here are some of the pictures I took out and about-from the lodge, to the road, to the awesome view of Mt. Meru.
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I stumbled upon Koya Nkurumah’s post on “Are your friendships evolving?” yesterday evening and as I read it, I found myself gaining new perspective on friendship and what it means to say ‘I have a friend,’ or ‘I am a friend,’ at such a time.
This also ties to the Kdrama that had my attention since late February and ended on April 9th- called Divorce Attorney Shin and more because of the friendship among three middle aged men- each having suffered a loss, and struggling to come to terms to moments and relationships in their lives where they feel they failed-and all through the series, it was three men coming together to eat, drink, check in on one another-even go camping.
So, Koya’s post got me asking myself, what kind of friend am I?
It also got me thinking of the friends I had growing up, of the memories that I gained from shared experiences from primary, through to secondary school to the university and what of work? Do I have and did I have friends at work too?
So, in a nutshell…I have colleagues at work- and yes, some do qualify as friends, however- it’s also built on the understanding that a majority of our time spent together is limited to job descriptions and fulfilling them.
- Like any relationship, friendships evolve- and it’s alright if some come to an end too. You are not the same person every second of your life, and though your values may stay true for a long time, your perceptions and opinions do not-and as such, it’s alright if a friendship comes to an end.
- Time. There are friends I had when I was twelve, sixteen, and even in my twenties whom I wish well and get a sense of joy when they connect on social media or I happen to run into them- and that’s it. Why? They’ve grown so much, made decisions, taken different paths and I celebrate that without wanting to take them back to when I knew them or my memory of who they were.
- Consistent communication is key. There is the aspect of communication where it is easier for a friendship to stagnate when calls go unanswered, texts go without responses and over time you find yourself saying there’s no need to constantly be the one who reaches out and gets no response- Now this is one I struggle with, because personally-it feels like a fine line between resentment and wanting to cut off someone.
- Seasons, people, places and perspectives change. If the sun shines during the day, and the moon lights up the sky at night who are you to expect someone to be constant and live up to your expectations all through your life? Like seasons, our perspectives change- and our experiences lead us along different paths and this affects who we let into our personal space and when.
Finally, the only constant person in your life is you, and as everything around you is bound to evolve, so are you-the only thing that should hold true is how you treat yourself. Love, cherish, and treat yourself-because you carry that into any experience, situation or relationship.
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April is here. I’ve written more in March and it feels great working my way back into some form of consistency when it comes to writing.
This month, there’s a mantra I’d love to work on that in the past two weeks has reduced my anxiety at work and got me sleeping better and it was shared by RM of BTS (I’m Army) and he said when it comes to wanting to get everything done and done to perfection there is always the chance of getting lost in the frustration when things don’t go as you plan, so he said to calm himself and appreciate his effort he says “Done is perfect,” if a task gets done, that’s perfect.
Bich Tran via http://www.pexels.com So in the spirit of doing my best and getting things done this month, here are five things I’d love to do this month:
- Read these two books: Surrounded by Idiots by Thomas Erikson and Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
- Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables to improve my iron and vitamin c levels.
- Sleep.
- Work out ( I am taking to wall pilates and that seems more relaxing for me and I can do the exercises via the BetterMe app for seven minutes in the morning and the evening)
- Travel, at least one road trip.
I find myself yearning to engage in everything that means I’m healthy physically and psychologically- and it could be the change I need this month to propel me into the coming days.
Until then, I’ll still say it- if there’s a kdrama you could watch right now on Netflix it is Divorce Attorney Shin.
nilichoandika 