I am currently reading Prepare for Impact by Chad & Ryan Estis.

I am currently reading Prepare for Impact by Chad & Ryan Estis.

I want to talk about the things that keep me awake at night,
But now that I say it out loud, they seem so trivial,
Like the thought of you,
The taste of strawberry yoghurt,
the first sip of a well served latte,
the first forkful of chocolate fudge cake,
buying notebooks, beautiful pens, highlighters, while listening to my playlist on spotify,
being in my Mom’s presence, the lunch dates, when we sit down to watch four hours of Afro-cinema…
being in my Sisters presence, her family, her children and laughing at memes and memories of our childhood….
I want to speak of the things that keep me awake at night, but whenever I open my mouth to shout, I only sing of the good, and once I start I cannot stop.

And just like that, I am reminded of the times I have been on the edge of a cliff, giving up in my mind and my body follows while my spirit remains torn…what am I most proud of in my life?
Staying alive.
Waking up every day, one step at a time, one decision after another, and finding bliss in the small things, like making it past an hour, and another, until dusk.

Gratitude.
Finances: I finally managed to track my expenses and commit to a savings plan and just knowing what goes in and out and why…has been an interesting experience.
Exiting conversations and WhatsApp groups without feeling guilty, because though I choose to be part of some networks, my threshold for insults and vitriol from group members at other members-reading that and taking it in, is not my cup of tea.
A book, a story, yet to be published.

I guess this much is true, that not everything has to be revealed.

I want to visit any of these six places in Kenya where you can bungee jump.
Laundry.
I am creating a mountain of dirty clothes in the other room, waiting to see what it’d be like when I run out of clothes to wear and when the weather is fine…I am good at putting it off truly.

And we are back with an answer to the ‘If’ question again.
It would be such a relief to invest in Africa, to make it easier for many to stay and thrive here- not just creation of jobs, improved healthcare, uphaul the education curriculum, make this a place where no one would look down on you or send you packing, because of the color of your skin.
