This is a book that provides insights into healing, growth and it felt more like a way of approaching life experiences without regrets or disappointments, so you know I highlighted many phrases and some of those that I want to truly work on include the following-as taken directly from the book:
Start saying, “Thank you” for what you want as though it has already happened.
The only story that is ever going to matter is the one you tell yourself.
You do not need a lot of people to believe in your ability.
What nobody tells you is that it’s the attachment that hurts. It’s the expectation of what it should be or would be and by when.
The experiences we can’t release often still hold within them a lesson that has yet to be extracted.
You will have to start where you are.
Stop waiting for perfect circumstances.
A life of more is not one that always expands outward, it’s very often one that opens up inward.
The circumstances that existed when the relationship began can tell you so much about the relationship itself.
Heartbreak doesn’t happen with people who are wholly wrong for you. It happens with people who are just right enough to make you hope, but just wrong enough to prevent you from getting closer, or making it official.
It’s raining in Arusha, and that means it is sweater weather. I think I came at the right time, even though a part of me yearns for more sun, it’s been wonderful meeting people here and doing what got me here in the first place.
So, before I got here- I had a stop-over in Nairobi and I couldn’t resist going into Miniso to buy stationery.
I got into Arusha on Monday, and yesterday had time to go around town and into the village and community where I was scheduled to visit. I checked in for the first half of my trip at Zawadi House Lodge in Sekei Arusha, it is approximately 51kms from the Mt. Kilimanjaro airport.
Then there are the glass bottled sodas which come in 350ml capacity which I absolutely loved- tall, slender, bottles they are. So, here are some of the pictures I took out and about-from the lodge, to the road, to the awesome view of Mt. Meru.
“What if instead of thinking that your life was meant to unfold seamlessly, your realized that the courage it takes to keep opening doors, even if they all close, is part of the process?”
With this book, she focuses on the one woman in the Bible, who is accredited for the fall of man-and generally most unappreciated: EVE.
From the very first chapter of this book, I found myself, like the author, having a new perspective of Eve-of a woman who made a mistake, one so grave that a proclamation was made on her womb- and who had to pick up after the fall…and it happens whenever I make a mistake too, I ask myself “what next?”
In asking the question, “How do I grow from here?”, this book is encouraging in helping you face your fears, flaws and opportunities and all the while preserving your connection with God. So, here are my top ten take-aways from this awesome book:
Just because you’ve survived something doesn’t mean you didn’t experience damage.
What question haunts you?
It is not wise to compare or minimize our pain because it doesn’t feel significant compared to that of others.
Stop presenting your truth, feelings, and emotions and then dismissing them with “I don’t know.”
When what is ahead of you is greater than what is behind you, you can walk away from that which no longer serves.
Who will I have to become in order to pursue this opportunity? Does it lead me closer or further away from God?
You may be waiting on a harvest for all that you’ve sown, but you are God’s harvest and He won’t let you stay in the ground.
How does this new perspective change the way you engage in your world?
Where you are right now may not be connected to where you will land, but where you are right now will serve you when you get to where you are headed.
Don’t ever let someone make you feel so uncomfortable with your little in comparison to their ability that you cease to remember your little is more than enough for you.
There are phenomenal women in the Bible as there are men, and I find most of the stories interesting- like being swallowed by a fish, or getting fed by ravens or fleeing from the threats of a Queen and reading this was applying the lessons on growth, fear, and seeking purpose by getting to have a new perspective on Eve’s story.
I stumbled upon Koya Nkurumah’s post on “Are your friendships evolving?” yesterday evening and as I read it, I found myself gaining new perspective on friendship and what it means to say ‘I have a friend,’ or ‘I am a friend,’ at such a time.
This also ties to the Kdrama that had my attention since late February and ended on April 9th- called Divorce Attorney Shin and more because of the friendship among three middle aged men- each having suffered a loss, and struggling to come to terms to moments and relationships in their lives where they feel they failed-and all through the series, it was three men coming together to eat, drink, check in on one another-even go camping.
So, Koya’s post got me asking myself, what kind of friend am I?
It also got me thinking of the friends I had growing up, of the memories that I gained from shared experiences from primary, through to secondary school to the university and what of work? Do I have and did I have friends at work too?
So, in a nutshell…I have colleagues at work- and yes, some do qualify as friends, however- it’s also built on the understanding that a majority of our time spent together is limited to job descriptions and fulfilling them.
Like any relationship, friendships evolve- and it’s alright if some come to an end too. You are not the same person every second of your life, and though your values may stay true for a long time, your perceptions and opinions do not-and as such, it’s alright if a friendship comes to an end.
Time. There are friends I had when I was twelve, sixteen, and even in my twenties whom I wish well and get a sense of joy when they connect on social media or I happen to run into them- and that’s it. Why? They’ve grown so much, made decisions, taken different paths and I celebrate that without wanting to take them back to when I knew them or my memory of who they were.
Consistent communication is key. There is the aspect of communication where it is easier for a friendship to stagnate when calls go unanswered, texts go without responses and over time you find yourself saying there’s no need to constantly be the one who reaches out and gets no response- Now this is one I struggle with, because personally-it feels like a fine line between resentment and wanting to cut off someone.
Seasons, people, places and perspectives change. If the sun shines during the day, and the moon lights up the sky at night who are you to expect someone to be constant and live up to your expectations all through your life? Like seasons, our perspectives change- and our experiences lead us along different paths and this affects who we let into our personal space and when.
Finally, the only constant person in your life is you, and as everything around you is bound to evolve, so are you-the only thing that should hold true is how you treat yourself. Love, cherish, and treat yourself-because you carry that into any experience, situation or relationship.
My mother named her daughters after the virtuous women in the Bible; Abigail, Rachel and Maria (also known as Mary) and her sons, well since we hail from one book and one womb, she named them David, Elijah, Michael and Emmanuel…our house was the home of great and holy people until the day Elijah was arrested for stealing Otis’bicycle.
April is here. I’ve written more in March and it feels great working my way back into some form of consistency when it comes to writing.
This month, there’s a mantra I’d love to work on that in the past two weeks has reduced my anxiety at work and got me sleeping better and it was shared by RM of BTS (I’m Army) and he said when it comes to wanting to get everything done and done to perfection there is always the chance of getting lost in the frustration when things don’t go as you plan, so he said to calm himself and appreciate his effort he says “Done is perfect,” if a task gets done, that’s perfect.
Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables to improve my iron and vitamin c levels.
Sleep.
Work out ( I am taking to wall pilates and that seems more relaxing for me and I can do the exercises via the BetterMe app for seven minutes in the morning and the evening)
Travel, at least one road trip.
I find myself yearning to engage in everything that means I’m healthy physically and psychologically- and it could be the change I need this month to propel me into the coming days.
Until then, I’ll still say it- if there’s a kdrama you could watch right now on Netflix it is Divorce Attorney Shin.
It is the last day of March. I turned a year older this month, so socially I should have been in the #birthdaymonth mood, but it’s been overtaken by life events.
We learn lessons over time, for we experience life, collect both negative and positive memories and this adds onto or takes away aspects from our perceptions and values. I have been reflecting on some lessons in life and there are two that stood out as the ones that I have had to unlearn and re-learn:
It’s great to know what you want and even greater to be able to ask for it, but this does not guarantee that you’ll be granted what you want. I learned this professionally when I started writing queries and submitting pitches to various editorials and- sometime I would get a flood of emails with rejections, others would not respond- and one or two would give me a chance. When it comes to employment, my outbox is full of job applications that I never even got feedback from.
What I had to re-learn was that in asking, what is more important is the follow up-the consequences that come with asking and whether I am prepared to receive what I ask for.
No pain, no gain phew! With this the greatest lesson growing up is that it doesn’t mean we should accept pain, and pain is not evidence of progress. Tying up with this is often being told ‘hard work pays,’ and yet the conditions surrounding the aspect of work make it painful both physically and psychologically- and it takes a longer time to put yourself first just because you hold this lesson as an ultimate.
I know somewhere along the way, I may have different opinions and take on the values and lessons I learn-and I look forward to learning, unlearning and re-learning more lessons. Have an awesome Friday!
I woke up to a splendid morning, changed the sheets, pillow covers and got to drink some hot instant coffee, and then there was a blackout.
On Reading: This week involves travel and I get to be in my element so I can’t wait to get on the road, but something’s been bugging me, more like this not so subtle reminder that I ought to read more and it’s this yellow basket right beside my bed. I’ve got over ten books that I bought and I am yet to read. I haven’t even started the final book in The Broken Earth Series because I am saving it for the road trip.
What do you do when:
You buy more books than you can read
You buy more stationery than you can use to write
You enjoy doing activities 1&2 ?
If you have an answer, please let me know what has worked or is working for you because clearly I need an intervention or some sort of control.
On Life: I have been resting over the weekend, got to wash and braid my hair, watched the k-drama “Still 17” and now I’m catching up on yesterday’s episode of Divorce Attorney Shin (this is my favorite…lately).
I find myself stepping into new territories, almost more like walking into spaces and experiences that scare me or seem way above me- and I like this feeling, this courage…this hope, so wherever it leads me, let me just add that it got me loving Statistics and Policy Research, so let’s see where this mind and energy takes me this week.
nilichoandika 