Traveling to my Dad’s home for Christmas. This stopped when it felt like the love that was there was only for what we could give and had to learn this when Dad passed away.
taken from unsplash.com
I do want to say that instead of not keeping there are some traditions that I adore and have always carried with me wherever I go and most of them were adorned by my Mother;
Praying before leaving the house.
Praying as soon as you get to your destination.
Sending a text to let those who you left behind know that you got to your destination safe- Mom always says send word, let those who love you know you are safe, it’s like leaving a light on when you travel.
When I see someone off, I stay until the plane, vehicle or means of transportation take off- it’s something my maternal grandmother held dear and passed it on to us.
Giving thanks.
Sometimes, as I get older I appreciate the little things that made me feel loved way beyond everything else and some of these little traditions I carry close to my heart.
I pondered over this prompt since I saw it at 7am.
Was today typical? More like was today same as always, for the sun – the moon- gravity maybem for anything that oscillates outside of this universe maybe it was or maybe it wasn’t.
All I know was that today was another chance at life.
I woke up. Checked my emails, got out of bed and prepped before going to the hospital.
I did not stumble upon Jessica’s book rather it was by design, because it is a poetry collection and poetry & verse is a category that is in my Netgalley shelf. I love prose yet cannot run away from a poetry collection fast enough.
Described as exploring a vast insoluble loneliness what struck me most was how I could relate to some of the life’s experiences shared here- there were instances I could picture the seven year old me, the sixteen year old me, the twenty one year old me and versions of my Mother, Aunts, and even Grandmother- their struggles, pains and how much mediocrity and insults they accepted all in the name of keeping the peace.
Like in ‘My Damned Prediction,’ she can definitely see all these, the burden that has been passed on from one generation to the next. In ‘Darkness runs, bare boned,’ speaking of the violence meted against women:
There is nothing that you can do that will satiate a man’s hunger, I promise you. Believe me I’m telling you the truth. I come from a long line of women whose skin became a casket once a man touched them.
In ‘Portrait of girlhood as a door to godhood,’ she shares a question that I did ask once, ‘why not choose forgiveness over violence?’ and I asked ‘which one came first?’
Towards the end of the collection you also get to meet a young girl who yearns to be seen, loved and listened to in ‘Abandoned letters or confessions since college.’
This was a great way to start my day and a subtle reminder that what’s written can still speak louder.
About the Author: Jessica Thiru is a Kenyan poet who was born and bred in South Africa. Her work appears in Button Poetry’s 2023 video contest, and Querencia Press’s Not Ghosts, But Spirits IV. Burning of Absence is her first book. Her poems explore the morphing space between becoming and noticing. She would like to own an owl that thinks itself a cat one day. You can find her at @leechteeeth on Instagram and @leechteethwrites on Tumblr.
It’s the fifth day of June and I was able to leave the house and go treat myself to some books today.
I already have a stack that I should probably finish but it did not stop me from buying new books. So, here’s what I got:
It’s my first time reading Abir Mukherjee’s books and what got my attention was that there’s 5-part book series, but I could only get three books, so I went for the tiebreaker (Smoke and Ashes is book #3) and the last two books in the series.
On writing: I am sending out my manuscript to the printers this coming week and I can’t wait to get my hands on that first print copy and make revisions before putting it out there- so, fingers crossed.
Honestly, it takes me a while to know when it’s time to unplug because I work closely with communities and sometimes there is no off switch. Something comes up and I often want to attend to it before I sleep- and the cycle continues.
However, when I want to unplug I learned that I tend to do three things and these are:
Set my phone on Airplane mode
Get in bed
Read while listening to any of my playlists on Spotify.
Most of the times I’ve been compelled to do these things when I can’t seem to think of a solution, are exhausted or over the weekends when I do not have work to be done.
Yes, when it’s cold two things happen: I either lose my voice or shiver to the point where this wheezing sound emanates from my chest like a symphony.
This is why it doesn’t make sense that I currently reside near a coffee plantation in one of the chilly, cold places in Kiambu County in Kenya- so please don’t ask me why…I just love my apartment.
There are days when work takes the bulk of my focus and then Saturdays when all I want to do is sleep, eat, sleep and drink coffee while listening to my spotify playlist.
There is something about how I choose to live my life and what I value- and for the girl in me seeing my Mom bring us up on her own, taking on jobs, consultancies to be able to provide for us-every time I want to take a step back, I see her and I keep on pushing. Working, setting up goals and tasks to secure financial independence-and this has had me thinking of all the times I should have prioritized rest but never did- and whether I would know when to catch a break.
Until then, I am learning- I am learning to embrace that little girl and I am doing this by:
Treating myself to lunch dates/ brunch dates twice a month. There are amazing restaurants in Nairobi which I am yet to explore.
Journaling daily- I started this when I was 12 years old and I make sure to write a line or two about my day before going to bed.
Buying the books I want to read and not feeling guilty about it.
Searching Pinterest for beautiful kitenge, ankara dress designs and having them tailor-made for me
Sleeping at 10:30pm and waking up at 7:30am– this is most recent given that I am on medication.
Calling my close friends, showing up for them during their milestones- eating out with friends.
So, yes I do not have the work life balance locked in, and the greatest lesson I am learning is that it is okay.
May is here and I have read 28 of 100 books in my #GoodreadsChallenge.
It’s been a bit slow on my end, taking time to recover and it’s meant more time reeling from the after effects of medication and less focus on books, however with my family around, I finally got to unpack the boxes in my living room that got here this January.
Bought this as a shoe rack, customized it to a bookshelf 🙂
I still have a room that I haven’t cleared out because I am still settling in my the apartment I am renting. Moving cities was exciting until I had to unpack most of what I had. Let’s get into books now:
Currently reading The First Woman by Jennifer Makumbi– and if you are looking for a story set in Uganda, with vibrant characters who refuse to be ignored- then please read this book. It gets an automatic 5 stars from me as you follow Kirabo, from her grandparents home, to her Father’s house, her relationship with her friends, women in her life- and her aspirations, while also acknowledging that she wishes to meet her Mother just once.
When I’m done with this, I want to travel to other worlds created by Leigh Bardugo- because why not? I also want to read up on power, corruption, factfulness and mental health-so I got a little bit of everything waiting for me in the following books:
I am being more intentional with the books I read this year, mainly because I also want to gain expertise and improve on my skills in my professional life, and it’s dawning on me that there are so many books that I can read and learn from. When it comes to nourishing my writing, would you believe me if I told you that fantasy, poetry, free verse and prose are what I’m drawn to right now? It’s like a yearning to experience and also learn from other writers how they create other worlds, what they bring to the quests their characters go on and why.
Looking forward to a productive month and to fully recover and get back on my feet this month, until then, have a great weekend.
nilichoandika 