Waterfall

It all came back to me.

The thing I ought to have done but never did.

I always love the lake, and wandering along the shores gives me serenity,

But today I caught a waterfall,

Then it all came back to me, what I should have done five years ago.

I should have told you that I knew about the lies, that I knew your silence was your inability to see the truth I knew about you.

Like that, the calls and texts stopped, and I looked to the stars,

To the lies I wanted to believe on love and just like that you continued in your journey and I soared in mine, until today…

I caught a waterfall, and just like that, I realized that the saddest thing I ever did then was act like I didn’t know what was going on.

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Yesterday

I cannot hear your voice,

Not in my memory.

I see your face when tears adorn my face,

And it hurts because I cannot remember why I forget you.

I cannot recall what it was that tore us apart,

You grace the heavens, I tell myself this because to imagine you anywhere but there is beyond my soul.

Today I saw you Dad,

I was at work talking to a colleague and there you were…across the fence, in the man talking to his daughter,

reaching out to hold her hand while smiling.

I know it was you because I couldn’t stop the tears,

I cannot hear your voice, heaven knows I have tried to hear it- recall it- feel it- sound it…everything.

The heavens call you their own,

Yesterday was not as tough as today…

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Monday

I want to have coffee with you on a Monday morning,

Let’s sit down at the break of dawn and talk,

It’s been a while,

I want to see the dimple in your left cheek when you smile.

I want to watch you frown when you talk,

Or how you shake your left leg,

Ten minutes into a conversation…

It’s been a while.

I want to have coffee with you on a Monday morning,

Just like we used to.

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Wind in her hair

I fell in love with the soul that had wind in her hair.

She came into my world and whisked me out of it,

I followed her scent.

I fell in love with the soul that smiled in the midnight air.

My Mother warned me about it,

Be careful or she may shred your heart.

I followed her scent, to my descent.

I fell in love with the girl that had wind in her hair,

No one could catch her, mold her, wind her, break her, capture her.

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Truth

I dream of you,

Of your smile, your laugh and your voice.

I dream of you,

Of your dreams, the way your hands would move as you worked,

Of the way you spoke to keys, strings and sticks…beats I’d call them,

Light as you called them.

To the world it was music,

But to you, it was eternity, so I let you embrace it.

I dream of you Stardust,

Of all the things we left unsaid,

Of all the places we never stayed,

Of all the dreams we prayed,

Of the eternity we shared.

I dream of you Stardust and this right here is the truth.

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I want to…

Ask you questions at the crack of dawn,

When you’re half asleep, half awake

So your voice oozes into my heart.

I want to…

Watch you cook,

Trust me, there is something ethereal about the way you chop onions.

I want to…

Walk away from you,

So you know how far you have to go to get me back.

I want to…

Stay beside you,

So your soul knows my own.

Presence

I know one person who calls me “Dee.”

I also know what happens when in the spaces between our silence, he travels miles ahead of his pain to catch up with me and like always, I run when he gets too close.

He says we race, I take off when he passes the baton.

I don’t know anymore.

So we look to each other for answers to questions we’d never ask, that’s what I thought until now…

He asked, “Dee, why do we do this?”

And I, for the first time in my life, faced him and said “I am afraid of knowing.”

He smiled, shrugged his shoulder, took my cup from me, “another one?” I nodded and watched as he poured the hot water first, reached for the instant coffee, took a spoon and added some then added the sugar.

“Why do you always start with the water first?” I asked and he smiled. He went to open the window, took his cigarettes and handed me the cup and walked to the door. I moved towards the edge of the sofa, so I could see him seated right outside.

“Every time I pour the hot water, I don’t know, maybe it’s good knowing that I have options…I can add coffee, a tea bag, cocoa or milk, I don’t know…you know what you like and how you like it, so you start with coffee as though everything else can be an afterthought but never the coffee.”

I nod and I know he’s right.

“Are you writing?”

I start to nod, then shake my head “no” and the worlds I hide behind my eyes come undone, he keeps his eye on me, Stardust…he will always be stardust, the galaxy unknown yet marveled upon, the cocoa I yearn for and the words etched in my skin. He takes one long drag of his cigarette and I am treated to the dimple in his right cheek…then he throws the stub to the ground, steps on it and comes for me.

He takes my cup sips the coffee and says, “Marry me Dee, right here, right now, I promise it won’t be easy…but I won’t give up, Heaven knows your presence is my essence!”

And when he isn’t looking, when he is just holding me, I am saying “yes!” and also screaming “why now? Why now?”

Waiting

We think we are the sun and the moon,

Stardust, we are anything but that.

The sun shines in her time, gives way for the moon and in turn the two have never failed the galaxy.

One too hot, the other too bright

One we branded yellow, the other white, yet they give each other time to reign, the moon goes to sleep when the sun rises, sometimes she lingers in the background…slowly drifting away.

Stardust, we think we are the sun and the moon, but it feels like I have been waiting for my time to shine longer than you have.

Why is it that my soul clings to you even when you are miles away?

Why is it that you seek me when I am out of reach? Is this love? Is this companionship or is this madness?

I don’t know anymore Stardust, what I do know is that I won’t stop waiting.

Speak Softly

You say I assemble my words like we are about to go to war.

I laugh and shrug it off, I always do.

You are back Stardust, you keep coming back and you don’t know why,

It’s killing you, your inability to let me go,

My ability to always smile whenever I see you.

You look at your knuckles and suppress a laugh, then you say,

“Your soul speaks softly to my own, when I can’t take this world anymore, I seek you, the guys say that I hunt for you, like redemption. How is it Love that just the thought of you brings me peace?”

I laugh and shrug it off, but this time, you wrap your hands around me and pull me towards you, I drop my book, my earphones slip out of my ears and you say, “Marry me Love, be my forever.”

I shake my head and close my eyes and gently sway with you, “forever is a long time.”

“It’s as long as we are willing to put in the work, Love. Stop running, catch your breath, just catch it with me.”

And I hear your soul, I hear it speak softly to my own.

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Caramel

I know the things you wish to say,

I hear them, see them, feel them and when you open your mouth, I ignore them.

With you, I have learned to let you lead by the story you tell yourself,

I have learned to watch you script, direct and live out your story.

I know the things you wish to say,

The question you ask yourself when no one is watching,

When you believe the world is distracted,

And just like that, I’ve watched you create another,

You say I have my walls, my Love, you’ve got fortresses,

They sprout up every time you get too close to letting me in,

So, I watch you, always the invader, always on the outside,

Oh, don’t you know you’re just like caramel? Too sweet and sensuous to ignore?

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