It’s difficult to ask for most things in life and I am in the field or business of asking- with every proposal I write, I know I am asking for something and hoping for everything. So adding this book to my Netgalley shelf was a definite yes-because I want to ask better questions, build relationships and get things done.

The three rules of asking: be prepared, be personal, be present.

There is a quiz on knowing which kind of person are you when asking and it’s easy statements to help you know what you lean towards the most and yours truly landed on “The Empathizer,” which means that when I ask, I internalize what I would think and feel if I were asked the same thing.

Laura Fredricks with a background in Law and Philanthropy shares her 5 laws of asking which are insightful. I will share the very first rule and look forward to you reading about the next four in detail in the book.

1.Know exactly what you want, with numbers and dates.

The number of times I’ve heard this at work, was enough for me to nod as I read because there is a huge difference in being very specific with data to back up any request or information and this ties in a lot with storytelling which is a key aspect in communication in my field of interest.

As she shares the five laws, Laura, encourages the reader to use them for daily asks and to also remember to reward yourself just for asking instead of focusing so much energy on getting a ‘yes,’ response.

For example:

What you need: To be heard

Not an ask: “I feel like every time I speak up, no one listens or understands what I am talking about.”

An ask: “I am about to share my top two ideas on this topic, I would appreciate it if you would let me know what you think about my two ideas right after I speak. Your feedback is invaluable.”

Some key take-aways from the book are:

(a). Every ask should be two sentences and one question: this will help you avoid over-asking or making it too confusing for the person to make a decision.

(b). When you ask for personal help, recognize, acknowledge and empathize with the person you are asking and explain why you need their help.

(c). Knowing some essential facts about the person or organization you are asking matters a lot, because it would determine what frame of mind or season of alignment they are in relation to what you need.

Above all, I found this book very easy to read-I started it last night and was done by this morning-pausing to take notes and revising some of my own questions. It is the kind of book that I would recommend in one’s quest to improve how they ask and the type of questions they ask.

Figure out what type of Asker you are on the author’s page: here

Get the book: on Amazon today