It is the last day of March. I turned a year older this month, so socially I should have been in the #birthdaymonth mood, but it’s been overtaken by life events.

We learn lessons over time, for we experience life, collect both negative and positive memories and this adds onto or takes away aspects from our perceptions and values. I have been reflecting on some lessons in life and there are two that stood out as the ones that I have had to unlearn and re-learn:

1. As for what you want
2. No pain, no gain.

It’s great to know what you want and even greater to be able to ask for it, but this does not guarantee that you’ll be granted what you want. I learned this professionally when I started writing queries and submitting pitches to various editorials and- sometime I would get a flood of emails with rejections, others would not respond- and one or two would give me a chance. When it comes to employment, my outbox is full of job applications that I never even got feedback from.

What I had to re-learn was that in asking, what is more important is the follow up-the consequences that come with asking and whether I am prepared to receive what I ask for.

No pain, no gain phew! With this the greatest lesson growing up is that it doesn’t mean we should accept pain, and pain is not evidence of progress. Tying up with this is often being told ‘hard work pays,’ and yet the conditions surrounding the aspect of work make it painful both physically and psychologically- and it takes a longer time to put yourself first just because you hold this lesson as an ultimate.

I know somewhere along the way, I may have different opinions and take on the values and lessons I learn-and I look forward to learning, unlearning and re-learning more lessons. Have an awesome Friday!