Give yourself time
Time to unravel
To choose yourself above all else,
To love and lose,
To sink or swim,
To pick and choose.
Give yourself time,
Time to marvel,
At all the things you’ve done,
At all the things you’ve planned.
Give yourself time,
For you have this life,
Shouldn’t it be worth it?
I hope this finds you
utterly bothered, restless,
unsettled,
anxious…I hope it sets your veins ablaze,
So your dear heart may restart.
Or maybe it burns the ice that preserves your heart.
Dear Sir,
I hope you…
Forget it!
I just wish you’d live on your terms,
Not the world’s.
Sincerely,
True.
I got flowers today,
a gift from my soul to my body,
white roses.
I got flowers today,
and the sun came with them,
my heart is full,
it is tender.
I thought I owed you,
‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’
‘Where are you going dressed like that?’
‘Who is he?’
‘When are you coming over?’
‘Can I buy you a drink?’
‘Will you take minutes?’
‘Could you listen to them?’
‘When will you have kids?’
‘Why aren’t you married?’
I truly thought I owed you,
So, I walked while looking over my shoulder,
Kept the memory of your hands, body on me, hidden,
a gift to the demons that plague me.
I thought I owed you,
ANSWERS.
I asked for time,
You wanted to dine.
I asked for time,
You asked why,
Is it worth a dime?
So, I watched you squirm, watched you act like you were building a castle.
I watched you tell everyone we were okay.
I watched you remind the world that:
“he who finds a wife…”
Wife?
I asked for time and when you closed in on what I had,
I left.
Now, here I am listening to the sound of the fridge, reaching out for my phone as it charges,
Counting the many ways I tried to show you,
Love, what seemed like a minute request to you, was an eon of freedom,
to breathe, think, question, re-align, mold, challenge,
every fibre of my being.
We will find a place,
A shelter from the world,
From the likes, comments, tweets, retweets, re-posts, screenshots.
A world where you and I,
Dwell in solace.
We will find a place,
Where you and I would be,
Still.
Dear Stardust,
How are you?
How does the sun look like where you are?
Is she bright yellow up above you, or tangy orange as she travels home? How does she look like?
And you?
How do you feel right now?
I spend my days writing these letters to you, talking to you the best way I can, using what I have.
Sometimes, I feel like I could pour my heart on paper more than on a device.
The internet never forgets.
I want you to behold my handwriting, to see how I slant my consonants, hide my vowels…
Stardust, I guess I just have better conversations with you when there is a pen and paper between us.
You,
You are like a wave,
swift, resilient, powerful, refreshing,
To be conquered by none but yourself.
So, here I stand, unhinged
Do as you wish,
Destroy me only if it means that you’ll let me adorn you with love.
I am not this person,
I just enjoy playing her once in a while.
So, if you, my love are truly sorry,
Then let your remorse be accompanied by a book,
Or books.
I could plant a garden of flowers,
So, no more red roses or white roses,
Say ‘sorry’ and add ‘I got you this!’
My love, if…if truly you are sorry,
Then do as you wish, and hope that I’m pleased.
If…
For years, I kept my eyes on the road,
always on the lookout, waiting, hoping,
ready to hear the words “you!”
Not just me, my sister, her friends, their friends…
little feet, dark afro hair, big dreams, little feet, big eyes
Waiting to be told that “we are worthy, and we matter.”
So, like a bus that never arrives, I stood up,
I placed one foot before the other,
walked until the sole of my feet bled.
I chose me, I smiled with me, I loved me
I loved her so much the years breezed past.
And when a still small voice tries to tell me otherwise,
I glitter.
nilichoandika 