nilichoandika

Scars

January 5th, 2018

There are people who are hurting but you’ll never see their scars.

Some people put up a front, they engage in a battle, a slow descent down a black hole. You never see the driving force behind their battle.

One thing is certain for such people, the driving force is always there. It’s all they hear, feel, see, smell and touch.

I have seen some of these scars. I have walked away from some, but Peaches had me at odds. He said “you are an Empath. You want to drain people of the hurt and leave them with some hope. You can’t save them all without breaking.” He said that the saddest part was how often he saw me do it.

I give him bits and pieces of myself and he’s cut by the shards of the pieces I hand him. He says I give him memories, feelings, insights, and truths of things he’d rather not be privy of.

So, here I am, bleeding on paper because it’s easier for me to take a pencil and use it to forge steel.

There are people who are hurting but you’ll never see their scars.

There are people who are so far gone that each piece, word, look, contempt, sinks them deeper into the black hole they’re descending.

There are people who see such people and they take their pain as their’s, but it’s never enough, it’s never quite the same walking a mile in their shoe.

There are people who seek refuge in words, who spin tales, craft narratives, create worlds…people,there are people and there’s hurt.
The Liebster Award

December 21st, 2017
Hello, how are you today? I am doing just fine, if sitting next to a computer as early as eight in the morning sounds okay. I was nominated by MCreen (visit his blog: Mcreen’s Galaxy) for the Christmas gift of the Liebster Award.

What’s The Liebster Award all about?

The Liebster Award is a blogger award for new bloggers, those with few followers, who are still getting the hang of this dynamic industry. It is a fantastic way of giving exposure, recognition, and motivation to these talented newbies so as to keep their blogging fire blazing!

Rules of the Liebster Award
1. Create a new blog with the graphical image of the Liebster Award as the one above.
2. Thank the blogger who nominated you while also providing a link to their blog.
3. Answer the Questions you had received from your Nominator(s).
4. Nominate 10 bloggers and share your blog post with them so that they can accept their awards.
5. Create a set of questions for your Nominees to Answer.
Let’s do this!

1. What Sparked You To Start Blogging?

I don’t know if you would call it a spark, but I have been keeping a journal since I was twelve and a blog gave me a fresh insight into sharing my life experiences. My first blog still exists: Jodie and that’s because those are the kind of experiences I’d not want to forget.

2. What Do You Intend To Achieve With Blogging?

I intend to reach out to new audiences and by being on WordPress I see that happening everyday.

3. Why Do You Have an ‘On’ and ‘Off’ Blogging Pattern? What ticks you off at times?

I write when I’ve got something to write about and when I don’t, I scroll through my reader and read what others have to blog about. However, when I am immersed in writing a book, it’s often difficult for me to post anything on the blog.

4. Aside From Blogging, What Other Things Are You Passionate About?
- Reading books (Nilichosoma)
- Writing. I am currently working on two manuscripts that I look forward to publishing in 2018.
- Cooking. If it involves cooking oil, then sign me up!
- Traveling
5. What’s Your Vision 2018 Concerning Blogging?

I’d love to reach out more to the Kenyan audience and set up a shop/store so my Kenyan friends and their circle of friends can buy and read my books.

I’d love to know more from the awesome people behind these blogs:
My questions are:
1. What would you say has been the highlight of your blogging experience this year?
2. If you could pick a theme to blog about, any theme that scares you or you know very little about, what would it be and why?
3. What’s the best and the worst part of being called a blogger?
Let’s spread the love, type away and have a merry Christmas!
Updates on the writing life

December 20th, 2017
Hello, it’s been a minute. How’s your week so far?

I had to go there, because I learned that when a Kenyan says “it’s been a minute” they mean it has been years and they don’t have your number and they probably can’t tell your second name or remember just how you became friends.

My December started out great. I’ve read more books than I’d expected but maybe it’s because everyone is rushing to release a book during the holidays.
- My new fascination is with Kait Jagger’s Lord and Master Trilogy. Peaches bought me the series because I couldn’t stop talking about how Contemporary Romance sometimes disappoints me when they introduce the element of control and kink. I didn’t expect to be taken by the writing and now Peaches says I can definitely shut up.
- I have also been editing most of what I wrote during November for NanoWrimo. Let’s just say that the word count went from 50,000 words to 24,000 words and that made me lose a few cool points.
- I have finally settled on a working title, designed a simple cover and also ventured into a bit of poetry in my mother-tongue.
- I also have been working on a newspaper design and the process has been nothing but a great learning lesson. I never knew how important a font is and how crucial paper weight is to getting the right texture, quality and print when it comes to newspaper publication.
- I am looking to try different genres in 2018 because I have played safe this year. I have also come to understand that my growth, especially in writing will not come by sticking to what I know, but by also trying new things and if all goes well, I’ll be working on a new book.
I am learning to:
- Take deep breaths
- Smile more
- Break into dance without turning a deeper shade when caught
- Take more tea and even more coffee
- Reach out to friends, acquaintances for help in getting things done
I also discovered two albums that I have had on repeat since last Friday.
- Waves by Rachel Platten: If you listen to Hands, you’d break down like I did because there’s so much love in it and it starts with a phone call.
- Freudian by Daniel Caesar
So, that’s it for now and I am feeling upbeat I think I could go and sit down at Java and have a Pppermint Mocha as I let this sink in.

Have a lovely week!
The final word

December 18th, 2017

I want to sip you like wine, to swirl you before I quench my thirst of you.

I want to reach for you, dip some ice and let you burn your way into me.

I want to brew you, to add a spoonful of cream and a bit of caramel and warm up at the thought of you.

But, you…

You come to me in doses, a drip in the morning, a taste in the afternoon and a sip in the evening.

It shouldn’t matter, your coming, and your going, or our longing, it shouldn’t matter.

You come to me when he is talking about a future, when I am supposed to be paying attention to a telephone conference, at the supermarket, in church, in the bathroom, in bed, in a matatu and right now…you want to stay.

You say it’s because it’s time for you to stay.

We have to see this through, you say, and when I make a move to put the pen down, you remind me to reach for a cup of black tea. Tea? Yes, you ran out of coffee, again! You say.

Why is it that you know when to push and when to refrain? Why is it that you know me so well?

I reach out for that cup of tea and you smile, and a part of me knows that I am never getting any sleep until I write the final word.
Sand

December 16th, 2017

You may slip through my fingers.

You may be unable to hold water.

You may hold onto me, then watch me slip, like the water.

You, my dear, may be everywhere and nowhere,

But I am with you, right here, for you are like sand,

Each granule as distinct as the other, but when held, still remains sand.
Mocha

December 9th, 2017

I am drawn to the kind of people who are half parts.

Half chocolate, half espresso, half milk, half…

I am drawn to the kind of the people who come in threes,

tantalizing, bitter, smooth,

rough, edgy, refreshing,

They soften the blows of who they are.

All Rights

Like my coffee, I could always drink them up,

or wash them down after eating a slice of chocolate fudge cake.
Reader Problems…We all have them

December 8th, 2017

I came across this tag from Jade’s blog Book Muffin and I had to give it a shot. The original creator of the tag posted this on YouTube.

How do you decide what book to read next?

It depends on what’s on my TBR list, but honestly:

If you’re not enjoying a book, do you DNF it, or do continue to the very end?

I continue to the very end. I have written a few books and I know the process of writing, so, if I am not enjoying the book sometimes I set it aside and return to it when I can, but I always finish books because someone went through a lot to get it done. I’ll admit that some BDSM novels always seem too much for me to handle and with such, I steer clear.

You’re behind on your Goodreads Reading Challenge, and the end of the year is near! Do you accept your fate or try your best to catch up?

I’ve never fallen behind on my Goodreads Challenge. I’ve however gone beyond the limit by 20 or 30 books. 🙂 No kidding- see for yourself here

The covers of a series on your bookshelf don’t match, what do you do?

It’s okay, this does not bother me.

It’s their sizes that get to me and sometimes I want to slap the book publishers to get them to stick to one book size so they can align perfectly on a bookshelf!

Who do you turn to when you need to complain about a bad book that everyone else seems to like?

Peaches. He’s not an avid reader but when I rant, he seems know where I’m coming from always finishing by saying “so that means that I should not talk about that book or suggest it to anyone as a gift, okay.”

You’re in public and you’re about to start crying over a book, what do you do?

I cry.

I have cried in matatus and buses and with public transport I’m always seated at the back by the window looking out and crying my heart out.

The next book in a series has just been released, but you can’t remember a thing about the last book! Do you re-read the first book, look up the synopsis or just pretend you remember and read the sequel?

I re-read the first book, of course!

No one is allowed to borrow your books! How do you let them down gently?

No one is allowed to borrow my books or torture them with soup stains, coffee stains, tear stains and unacceptable bookmarks!

How do you get over a reading slump?

I read a romance novel!

Here’s the thing about the romance genre: you’ll always find a free book to read on Kindle! Wherever you are, if you have an eReader and internet connection, you can download a romance novel, read it in one sitting and you’re out of that slump!

All of your highly anticipated books are being released at the same time! Do you buy them all, or prioritize some over others?

I’ve read so many ebooks this year. If you’d have asked me this last year, I’d have said ‘buy them all.’ However this year, I downloaded samples on Kindle and chose the books I’d read based on the first sample chapter I’d read.

Once you’ve bought those highly anticipated books, do you pick them up straight away, or surrender them to your shelves for a year?

I pick them up straight away.

So, there you have it! I’d love to know your answers to the Reader problems, so share widely.
21 questions

December 7th, 2017

Hey, can I ask you something?

How do you do that?

Do, what?

Like, how do you know that something could turn into a story?

I don’t know the precise answer. I guess, sometimes I ask myself what if, and then I see where it leads me.

Is it easy?

No.

Why do you do it?

What?

Why do you write?

I always find “whys” to be quite the bullies. They always get you going into the defense mode.

Why?

Every ‘why’ has to be followed by a ‘because,’ don’t you feel as though you are cornered?

You haven’t answered my question.

What question?

See, there you go again, why do you always do that?

Do what?

Answer a question with a question.

I do that, do I?

You are doing it again. Look, if you don’t want to answer me, just say so and I won’t push, besides I have come to understand that you do not like it when I ask about what you are writing.

You seem to have arrived to a lot of conclusions.

Not conclusions, but I am right, aren’t I?

About what?

You do not like it when I ask about what you are writing.

What are you doing this Saturday?

I’m sleeping in, are you working on something?

Yes. Would you mind coming with me to see Prof?

The old man at Maseno, why?

He’s finished reading my manuscript and he wants to have what he calls the ‘unraveling.’ It is his way of determining my growth or simply put, his way of telling me how much he hated the book.

Okay, but, I don’t know what you were writing about and you know it takes me years to finish reading a book. Why do you want me there?
I see

December 4th, 2017

“To each their own.”

You said it. I nodded.

It’s what I do best. I nod. I say “no worries” and watch you.

“So, do you drink?”

“Yes, I love coffee,” I said. You laughed, shook your head and said, “do you take alcohol?”

“No thanks.”

“Well, I do once in a while when I’m in the company of my friends. When we are celebrating.”

stocksnap.io

We attended your friend’s birthday party and I found myself doing what I do best at parties- disappearing.

One drink.

Just one Hun. I smiled and kissed you on your cheek. “Go and have fun.”

It was a delight. Watching you. Not being at the party. It always delights me that I can see in you what I choose to. You often say “don’t overthink, it’s not good for the kids.”

Your friends immediately turn their gaze to my stomach. Too flat. What kids? Are you having kids? Congratulations! Boss! You finally did it!

“No, we are not having kids. It’s just something we tell each other, you know like you tell your wife you love her and stuff like that, isn’t it right hun?”

“Yeah, no kids here people!”

We laugh. You laugh with your soul. I laugh with my heart, we’ve never laughed with both but you know we will, I see it in how you struggle to let me in.

One drink. When I settle to a cup of coffee before going to bed, you reach out for one drink. You call and say “I just wanted to hear your voice.”

We talk about an episode you saw on National Geographic. You say you are worried about your Dad. He’s not himself. You wonder where I’d be if you attained his age. You ask me about home, the work I’m doing and you sip your drink. Each word I utter is washed down with a sip and you say “It gets lonely, this world I mean.”

I do not overthink our conversation. I do not overthink what I feel and I spit it out. When I’m done you say “I see…and you know what, it’s one of the things I would always love about you. You say it as it is and sometimes, I wonder what you are doing with a guy like me.”

Well, honey, sometimes I think of how I’m going to write a story that it slips my mind.
December updates

December 2nd, 2017
Hello, how’s your Saturday coming along? If you are like me you are probably lounging with a cup of tea or looking forward to a relaxing day, but chances are you are not. In fact, you may be at work thinking why?
- It’s been quite a ride. November was really kind to me, because well, I aced NanoWrimo and now I’ve had back to back editing sessions with Prof and you know most of the time he wants to hit me over the head with pages of my manuscript!
- I also read some very good books in November.
This month has started on quite a high, but not the positive one, because I’ve had a recurring fever and headache that’s left me feeling unsteady. It doesn’t help that I started my reading list by picking up this book that shattered my heart!

Lale’s account of the cruelty and torture they suffered at the hand of the Germans in a concentration camp reminded me of the horrific accounts I’ve read, heard and seen of the World Wars I & II. (Read his Obituary here, get the book- here)

Since I am on medication and recommended bed rest (that I’ve disregarded) I’m looking forward to reading less books this month due to more work commitments. Here are the few titles that are on my to-read list:

Which books are you looking forward to reading this month?

Have a great weekend!

T.M.I

Currently drinking: tea

Listening to: Particula by Major Lazer & DJ Maphorisa ft. Nasty C, Jidenna, Ice Prince and Patoranking

Currently reading: Unspoken and turns out Peaches does understand and can relate to what the author says.

How do you decide what book to read next?

If you’re not enjoying a book, do you DNF it, or do continue to the very end?

You’re behind on your Goodreads Reading Challenge, and the end of the year is near! Do you accept your fate or try your best to catch up?

The covers of a series on your bookshelf don’t match, what do you do?

Who do you turn to when you need to complain about a bad book that everyone else seems to like?

You’re in public and you’re about to start crying over a book, what do you do?

The next book in a series has just been released, but you can’t remember a thing about the last book! Do you re-read the first book, look up the synopsis or just pretend you remember and read the sequel?

No one is allowed to borrow your books! How do you let them down gently?

How do you get over a reading slump?

All of your highly anticipated books are being released at the same time! Do you buy them all, or prioritize some over others?

Once you’ve bought those highly anticipated books, do you pick them up straight away, or surrender them to your shelves for a year?