nilichoandika

Peaches and Grapes

January 9th, 2017

Loving someone is tiresome. It is exhausting to always think of someone and when you want to call them you realize you have no credit. You brush your teeth and wash your face with cold water jolting those facial nerves awake. You wrap the lesso around your waist because God knows you cannot walk out of the house to Moha’s shop in your nightdress, or else people will know that you sleep in the little mermaid’s red nightie.

They’ll see Sebastian hovering slightly above your ever growing bum, and think, ‘Gosh! She is certainly expanding, that one…yes, ever since she got that job up the street, she seems to be growing from behind.’

So, you get to Moha’s shop and buy an Airtel top up card for 50 bob and rush to the house. You load the credit and check out the Unliminet options- because that card says that you get some 100MB+20mins+100sms.

You wait for that text….

When you check, you realize that you are only going to get data bundles and you have no money to call him. It’s 7:30A.M. You check whatsapp but he was last seen yesterday at 2A.M.

2A.M?

What was he doing up at 2 A.M? You check your last chat and it ended with a ‘goodnight’ at 9 P. M. and an unrequited emoji kiss…

It is almost eight o’clock and you are already exhausted, having asked yourself so many questions and arrived at no answers.

Loving someone is tiresome I tell you…hand me some grapes will you?
Running in circles

January 3rd, 2017

It sucks to be honest on a sunny Tuesday morning.

To wake up at six, have breakfast at eight because you had go take your meds at seven.

It sucks that you have to keep time when it comes to your meds yet you walk into the office a minute earlier or later depending on how easy it was to cross the road.

I thought about it, really thought about it, and my dear you are right

Is it worth it?

Good health, great sleep,access to quality healthcare, good food, an appetite, a vocation, being able to walk to and from work,

Yeah, I really thought about it Nelly,

It’s a beautiful life!

It’s like running in circles but you’re in constant motion!

How cool is that?

Now you can respect that little puppy of yours and maybe next time, you can stop,laugh and really think about why you are running in circles.
To set or not to set goals

January 2nd, 2017

Jambo! Chances are you have heard the phrase “Happy new year!” more than you’ve heard “how are you?” So,I am not going to add to that list, but it’s great that you are reading this. It is even greater that my assumption is stronger, and that you’ll make it to the end of this post.

So, 2017, uh?

Time flies so fast, wasn’t it just the millennium yesterday? How old is Facebook again? And last year wasn’t it just SnapChat’s year? And of course who can forget the epic showdown on democracy? If you’re American and you’re reading this no disrespect or harm here, but voting in Trump just had me speechless! Let’s agree to totally disagree that it was the highlight of last year. Forget that,it’s a new year and like most people I am struggling with the decision of either setting or not setting goals.

First, I rarely meet the goals I set every year. Secondly, it is boring to set goals because life always springs up new stuff on me along the way. So, to set or not to set goals, that is the question!

I thought about it and realized that there is a lot for me to do and why not settle in the middle. I can set some goals in certain aspects of my life and leave the other aspects as open as I can. For example, I’d love to read at least 100 books this year and review them on Goodreads. I can set that.

I’d also love to publish another African series.I have set a timeline of February for the first draft. I can definitely work on that and also source for a cover creator by March. I can work with these timelines to produce content but if there is one area I am unable to tap into, it has got to be my studies, work, and fitness.

So, to set or not to set goals, I am learning that choices are personal and whatever I choose I have to take responsibility for seeing it through and accepting the consequences. So, until then, here are a few titles I’m reading today because it’s back to work tomorrow.
It’s the little things

December 31st, 2016

It’s the last day of 2016, and instead of writing a list of things that happened this year, I am going to talk about a build up.

It is the little things that matter, especially because they build up when ignored, and the saddest part is that little things are easy to ignore.

Like the voice in your head that keeps telling you “it’s not a good idea,” or the awful remarks you hear your colleagues make that make you wonder whether you are in the right place. Sometimes you are doing something but your heart is not in it and you force yourself out of bed every morning and spend days working on something that is not in your heart, simply because you are afraid of what would happen when you take a step back. I have been on a roller coaster this year. I have had the best work experiences and some that I deemed worse. I have walked in and out of interviews sometimes hopeful and sometimes distressed.

As I write this, I am at a crossroads. My heart is done pleading with me and it’s pulling me towards achieving a dream I have had for years. It is a huge project. I have no funds, except for a world I dream of. It is a beautiful dream but realizing it would be a nightmare and I will have to step out of my comfort zone.

What would you say?

I don’t know, for at the moment, I know I am not in the right place and would have to move. I also know that moving frightens me because I would lose a paycheck in exchange for an idea that might or might not work.

It’s been a frustrating few months but I’m going in for this, because hey, if I could sweat it out and write a book, why not try a career change?

So, it is indeed the last day of 2016, but whatever moment you have, cease it, and spend more time with loved ones. If you are at work, please do not ignore the little things that frustrate you, find an outlet that’s positive (liquor is not) and sort it all out, because when you ignore these red flags it builds up into frustration and you end up hating your work.

Also don’t just capture memories, make memories.
Come, let me tell you a story

December 29th, 2016

I have a confession to make.

The year is ending and with 2 days to go, I need a new slate.

New year,don’t care. Well, I care, just a little,well maybe a lot,okay fine…I care!

He said he loved me, not once or twice or thrice but truth be told I saw it, and I felt it.

It was like blueberry ice-cream. It was sweet, tangy and blue, a swirl in the right direction.

I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

I wouldn’t, not because it was impossible, but because there was someone else. He was like vanilla. Sweet. Simple. True.

So, here’s the deal, I am starting on a new slate, buying new stationery, writing late into the night, listening to Rebecca Ferguson and sipping tea at odd hours. I am working on this story, a new plot, a fierce heroine, a loyal friend and a dramatic scene.

I am working on the story I never had the guts to tell, simply because I broke his heart when it was never my intention to just that, it was simply…untimely and my decision to ride solo had me miss out on “bae” texts, calls and gifts.
The place you call home

December 28th, 2016

The bravest man is the one assured of his death. Wakoli, the village cobbler, was such a man. You never met him, but Wakoli could look at your shoe and stitch it in one motion, but the same hands could not hold a woman’s hand without his knees shaking.

It came as a surprise when he suddenly said that he wanted to return to his father’s land. We sat with him as one of his hands went into the shoe and the other the needle, pulling and fastening and fixing. He would say, “A man has no friends in this world,” every time he talked about his ancestral home. He would pick another shoe, look at it and smile.

“You can tell a lot about a man’s shoes. How he takes care of the things that protect his feet as he leaves footprints on the earth. Some shoes speak of love, others, misery, but my Father’s home is awaiting me.” Wakoli was not a day older than your Father, but his back was bent from all the stitching he did. He carried his sack of shoes waiting for his clients to come for them. The sack was old and torn but never did a shoe fall from it.

Wakoli was the wind. He came and went as he pleased. Everyone at home knew him, but even so, he was the only one who saw me beneath the busaa. No, that is not true, he was one of the few who saw me, your mother- Nyanam, was the other. She was the only woman who could carry ten pots of water and not complain of a stiff neck come dusk.

She would laugh until you felt as though Heaven was with you. When she cooked, the food would warm your soul, and she never let me sleep hungry. She would come to the busaa den looking for me, “Shemeji, you have to eat what I made today, you know you are the only one who appreciates my cooking, eh? Now how about a few mouthfuls then you can continue quenching your thirst?”

An excerpt from The Place you Call Home a short story published on Smashwords
You found me

December 22nd, 2016

A man on a quest,

A woman on a journey,

The two met by chance,

A monster and a charm,

A blend of two resulted in a story.

I told their journey,

I created their story,

And when words failed me,

You found me.
This side of me

December 19th, 2016

There was a time,

More like this time,

When every word hurt,

Please, yes, no, why,

How, when, you did this.

There was a time,

Not like this time,

When every word was unheard,

Why, listen to me, wait,

Come, I love you.

There was a time,

More like this time,

When you never knew this side of me.

I love this side of me.
Lessons I have learned in 2016

December 6th, 2016
I remember making many plans and working on resolutions. It was going to be the year in which I published more books and had more visibility as an Author.

However, you know that life is what happens when you plan and something else occurs, right? So, when you ask me what have I learned this year? I’ll probably write a book about it, but here are some of the things I learned and I am still learning:
- I am learning to always leave loved ones with loving words, to always get that hug, kiss or blessing because it might be the last time I see them.
- I am learning that you can do something in the spur of the moment that will scar you for life.
- I am learning that there is more to life than followers, like, mentions, retweets, reposts, comments and hashtags.
- I am learning that ‘I want to marry you,’ is a declaration and not a proposal. It is more an intention and not an act. There is no rush to marry and it does not make me less of a woman if I am single and without a child at my age.
- I am learning that money is a lousy way of keeping score. Success is not the number of cars, houses, clothes, bags, or bank notes someone has. It is the strong and positive relationships one has and sustains. God first and the others will follow.
- I am learning that having money is not as cool as I thought it was. Money can buy houses but not homes. It can buy vacations but not peace of mind. And when you die, your family will still fundraise in order to bury you.
- I am learning that attitude matters a lot, a good attitude can always get me out of situations I cannot control.
- I am learning that there is no such thing as too much coffee and chocolate cake.
- I am learning that ‘thank you’ is as important and valuable as ‘hello, how are you?’
- I am learning that I am not just black, I am dark, bold and beautiful and it transcends what other people say of me.
- I am learning that a pen+notebook and some alone time between the hours of (7-8am) and (7-9pm) helps advance my writing.
Neema

November 30th, 2016

I knew her before I laid my eyes on her.

She was the voice that drew in the ocean.

Her eyes were the moon that shone in the sky, a lone light wandering the dark skies, lighting the path for those returning home and those out to take what others have worked hard for.

When people spoke of her; their voices would tremble as though they were striking a chord, caressing a baby, or looking beyond the sun. I knew this woman. I knew she was royalty before I saw her. It was the words that preceded her arrival that haunt me to date.

They say there was none like Neema.

They call her The Crown of the Sea.

I do not know why, or how she came by that name- but I know she oozed power and freedom, a finality that clouded the air around her.

Image Courtesy: Google Images