I do not ask for much,
Not when I haven’t enough to give, for this little heart of mine,
Needs some time to heal and shine.
I ask for light, love, time, joy…
I ask for all the things that require patience to blossom.
Tag: prose
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DeMorris Bryd took this photo. (@brydman85) on http://www.pexels.com -
Do you remember the first time we met?
I look at your shoes, new Converse, they’re black, just the way I like them.
You sigh and deposit that cigarette in your mouth.
I look at you and you rise,
‘Sorry, you don’t want to catch Cancer, certainly not by second-hand smoke.’
I look at my fingers. It’s something I find myself doing of late.
I look at them and imagine myself holding a pen, how firm that is.
I imagine myself slowly tearing a chapati, my favorite thing to eat and smile.
Love, I’m talking to you, are you listening?
I nod and you smile, ‘you are thinking, you have traveled to one of your worlds and left me to my cigarette, but that’s alright, now that you’re here I just remembered you asking me what my story was.’
Yes, everyone we meet has a story and I wanted to know your story.
I lied to you.
I know.
Wait, if you know I lied, why didn’t you call me out on it?
I asked you what your story was and you told me what you wished it wasn’t and with time everything you did proved that you were running away from the truth within you- it was and still is your journey to make, and didn’t you lose me along the way too?
Yeah, what if I told you that losing you was the best thing that ever happened to me?
I shrug and attempt a smile,but my tears travel faster than my lips, so they grace my cheeks before my lips show up. How come? I ask.
You take one long drag and put out your cigarette before looking back at me, and in that gentle voice you say, ‘Well, the version of me that wanted you at that time was not worthy of you, he wasn’t even worthy of me, and losing you…Love, losing you hurt like my guys thought I was foolish, they gave me hell, but deep down I was glad you walked away because if you’d have stayed hoping that I was gong to get better, I would have broken you and that would have killed me.’
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Word has it that…
Did you hear what’s been going around?
No, should I?
Well, you wouldn’t believe it if I told you, but word has it that you…
Would you do me a favor?
Please tell your sources to speak louder, I’m too far gone in my quest for a better life to hear their hushed whispers.
Really? You don’t want to know?
No, if it’s about me and it’s worth knowing, then whoever is talking is doing it all wrong.
Tell them to put me on blast…have I made it into International Broadcasting Media Houses?
No, but…listen, you…
No, you listen…it’s gotta be louder and clearer, said with utmost conviction for it to reach me, okay?
Photo courtesy of Wherbson Rodrigues: http://www.pexels.com -
I once heard the moon say that only the sun knew her secrets,
Get your face mask on.
I’ll slip a bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse,
Meet me outside, under the mango tree,
Carry your bluetooth speaker,
Let’s listen to my playlist.
I’ll set a table for two.
Stardust, I’m asking, would you like to have coffee with me?
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Never count sand in the morning,
You’ll never get past the first grain you behold,
And in so doing, the sun will go to sleep and so will the sun within you.
pexels.com Never count the lashes they give you,
Your scars will always remind you of how many times they broke you.
Never hold onto the bile in your heart,
It may spread into your soul and once that goes dark,
death looms and there is nothing as worse as the death of the soul while the body still lives.
Never let those who choose to see you kneel before them break your spirit,
Rise up even if it’s one toe at time,
Rise up Child,
For your spirit is from those of old, eons of prosperity and pain, and you only heard of what the phoenix could do, but have you ever asked yourself what the Sun’s been doing every day?
You are it, Child, so fight for it, forgive to heal and rebuild, fight…
Hope.
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I once heard the moon say,
Every time a soul is wronged, Heaven weeps,
Her words crawled the length of my spine,
I asked, “How can we tell that heaven is weeping?”
The moon smiled at me, and when I looked back at her,
She said, “Look outside Child, don’t you see heaven weeping?”
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We end where we ought to have started,
You and I,
We start where we ought to have stopped,
You and I,
And when the world feels just right, we stir up trouble,
“Who were you chatting up at midnight?”
“What do you mean chatting up? I was asleep…”
“I was on WhatsApp and you were online…”
“Yes, just because I am connected to the internet, it does not mean that I am actively engaging with people on my phone.”
“Yeah, that’s what you all say…”
Courtesy: http://www.pexels.com I hang up and sip my coffee,
Listen to a song or two, hold my breath, feel the beating of my heart.
You call and call until I give my phone a much needed break ‘airplane mode,’
You and I,
Oh, how is it that an action amplifies one person into a multitude,
You and I…like on such a night,
I feel like we are written in the stars, but we strive to prove the universe different,
Yet here we are…written in the stars.
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Your love is like receiving flowers in the evening,
A solace after a rough day at work,
Fresh scents that remind me of the things I cannot control,
It’s living, believing, in the evening.
Your love is like the sight of flowers in the evening,
I am not a fan of red roses,
Like passion and lust they’re cliche,
They’re like empty promises, appealing, way too enticing but never actualized.
pexels.com No, your love is like an assortment of flowers,
Wild, spicy, pretty, bland, bright, dull, ever present…
It’s living, believing and it comes in the evening.
Your love is like quiet smell of the evening,
A reminder that everything is fleeting,
And everything can be deceiving.
Your love is the evening,
It envelops me into submission when I am exhausted,
It takes when I am still,
It gives when I am famished,
As silent as the night, as loud as the fears that come alive,
Your love is not like, never has been like, rather it is the evening.
So, Stardust, are those flowers you sent in the evening, just for me?
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You come to me in waves,
I know not to flee for when I do, your scent assails me wherever I go.
You come to me on your terms and sometimes,
Just sometimes…I wish I could wake you up.
I wish you cared a little more,
I wish you would have told me this before,
So, I would not try to cage you…to grasp you in my hand, in the comfort of my palms pressing closer, drawing the life out of you.
They told you a man had to stand his ground,
They told you not to let me have my way with you,
So, you chose them over a quiet dinner with me,
You chose them because it felt safe not to be mocked by them.
pexels.com So, I brought down the walls of the cage I had set up for you…
I took one step back, then two, then three and when you were not looking, I ran.
I did not catch my breath,
17 missed calls…12 texts, 8 missed video calls,
I ran because it was safer to be miles away from you than to stay and let you treat me as your status dictated.
Now, here we are…you are a shadow of yourself and I have no regrets.
You want to speak of everything now, you want to pour it out but at the gate of your heart lies this barrier, the one that still calls me the villain, and I see it in your eyes
Hold me while you wait, hold onto me while you wait,
Maybe…just maybe, you’ll one day find the courage to live on your own terms,
Now, here we are, you are a shadow of yourself and I have no regrets.
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I had one task, to store everything I could in one place.
I had one task, to take my sorrow, joy, chaos and peace,
To merge all the expectations and disappointments just for one chance…
The chance that time could preserve them, people could come across them,
The generations after me could learn from them.
I had one task, to store everything I could in one place,
So I placed them all in you, and for every ray I gave you,
You gave me a spot of darkness.
You drew the curtain until I had to take a bow.
Suzy Hazelwood took this picture: http://www.pexels.com I had one task, to take my sorrow, joy, chaos and peace,
So, I reached out for the one thing I thought I could control: words.
I lined them up, one after the other until they formed a steady stream that drained into a sea of memories.
I had one task to create magic and oh, how I struggled, nights without sleep, nights where other’s echoes of how I was to assemble these words haunted me…until one day I decided to let them be…and that was when it took a life of its own.
I had one task and my Love, I found you a haven, a place where only you could reside in, and it’s in between the lines.
nilichoandika 