nilichoandika

In between the lines

May 5th, 2020

I had one task, to store everything I could in one place.

I had one task, to take my sorrow, joy, chaos and peace,

To merge all the expectations and disappointments just for one chance…

The chance that time could preserve them, people could come across them,

The generations after me could learn from them.

I had one task, to store everything I could in one place,

So I placed them all in you, and for every ray I gave you,

You gave me a spot of darkness.

You drew the curtain until I had to take a bow.

Suzy Hazelwood took this picture: http://www.pexels.com

I had one task, to take my sorrow, joy, chaos and peace,

So, I reached out for the one thing I thought I could control: words.

I lined them up, one after the other until they formed a steady stream that drained into a sea of memories.

I had one task to create magic and oh, how I struggled, nights without sleep, nights where other’s echoes of how I was to assemble these words haunted me…until one day I decided to let them be…and that was when it took a life of its own.

I had one task and my Love, I found you a haven, a place where only you could reside in, and it’s in between the lines.
Sparkle

May 2nd, 2020

We find ourselves in spaces,

unhinged or so we say, faces

unmoved or so we say, traces

unknown or so we say, and in these spaces

We sway, one step becomes two and then a mile stands between us.

We find ourselves in spaces, unhinged, unmoved, and unknown.

Sparkle.

Breston Kenya. Took this. http://www.pexels.com
What I’ve been up to while staying at home

April 25th, 2020
It’s been weeks of staying at home and adhering to the need to keep physical distance.

Though it’s often phrased as “social distance,” I find “physical distance” to be accurate because in the past two weeks we’ve spent more time connecting online or via phone calls and texts- and it’s not limited our socialization, it’s just made us socialize on a different non-virtual platform.

I’ve been living with my Mom, younger sister and nephew in Kisumu and coming back home when the Kenyan government called for limited movement has been the sanity break that I needed.

So, in that period of time, I :
1. Started listening to more music, and the highlight of my #stayingathome has been downloading Deezer- a music app that’s introduced me to various playlists.
2. Downloaded the 30 Days Fitness Challenge app and I have been doing 5-minute workout sessions every day. I can successfully plank for 30 seconds.
3. Have been cooking a lot- and I discovered that it helps ease my anxiety- just prepping a meal and finally cooking it.
4. Learned that I totally detest doing dishes- of all the household chores that can be done, doing the dishes is not my go to chore.
5. Have gained weight, my cheeks are chubbier.
6. Dyed my hair red
View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dora Achieng' Okeyo (@suchakenyan)

And the highlight of my time spent at home has got to be: writing, editing and publishing Zuri: The Chronicler of Enzi

About the book: Every kingdom but Enzi, had a fool. This person was entrusted with uplifting the spirits of the members of the royal court.
Now, inasmuch as they did not have a fool, they did better, they had a Chronicler.

I will try my very best to explain to you what role the Chronicler played, give a moment, let me light up these dry leaves and settle in my seat.
In Enzi this position was only to be filled by women. As far as I can remember, my Great Grandmother was the first Chronicler and after that, she trained her daughter, who went on to train her daughter and in turn I was trained. Chroniclers never died in Enzi. They would instead accompany the King to the afterlife if it so happened that the ruler died before them. Call me Zuri, I am the only living Chronicler and this is my story…

It’s available worldwide on Amazon Kindle: here’s the link

I’ve also learned a lot from the #WritingCommunity on Twitter and I am constantly inspired and challenged to do better and to read more just by reading what other writers have published.

I’m currently reading The Carpet Cipher by Jane Thornley

Have a lovely weekend, stay hydrated.
Don’t Believe Everything You Feel by Robert L. Leahy: Book Review

April 22nd, 2020

About the book: Don’t Believe Everything You Feel offers a groundbreaking approach blending CBT and emotional schema therapy to help you explore your own deeply held personal beliefs about emotions, determine if these beliefs are helpful or harmful, and find the motivation to adopt alternative, healthier coping strategies. Each chapter contains exercises such as self-assessment, expressive writing, or guided questioning to help you manage your emotions more productively.

My take on it: 4 stars

I was drawn to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy ( CBT) whilst studying Psychology and my undergraduate lessons were the very best on this. However, over the years, I learned that it’s never about what people want to do but what they are willing to do. And CBT asks that you put in the effort, a step by step approach to get better.

Dr. Leahy shares the Emotional Schema Therapy approach here which he developed years ago to help us cope with our emotions and at the core of it says that:

“it’s a realistic approach that proposes that difficult and pleasant emotions are all part of the experience of a full life. Rather than focus on feeling good, we focus on the capacity to feel everything and grow in the process.”

This is an insightful read one that even those who think they’ve mastered their emotions could learn a thing or two from.

I love the fact that it is very hands on, and is formatted as a workbook meaning that you read and evaluate and reflect on each chapter as you go on.

In it he shares his 5 principles of the Emotional Schema Therapy and goes on to expound on 6 wise strategies for coping with emotions that are positive as they are involving.

Where to get the book: Amazon
Take Me

April 19th, 2020

I went to the market,

Not that kind of market…the one where everyone is happy and looks good enough to be carried home.

So, I looked at this shelf and saw you,

The jaw of a god, a mortal sculpted into immortality,

Skin glowing like the dark night sky, embers of those who came before you,

Collis: http://www.pexels.com

So, I stood and took you in.

You could be my rock,

I could wander in the maze that’s your eyes…cocoa rich, vanilla true…

So, I stood and took you in,

You could be the one.

You know…the one among many who could take my heart, break it, and walk all over it.

You saw me looking,

Long after everyone else had left,

So, you stopped taking in their praise, their likes, their comments…you stopped and for that second, you knew you could take me.

See…I let you.

I was standing waiting for you to take me.

And so you did…you truly did,

Your voice, deep, still…calm on the surface, unsettled beneath it.

You took me long after I had decided that you would take me.

So, Son of Man,

Do not shout praises of your prowess to the world,

Do not scamper for likes, retweets, comments and be sliding in the DMs knowing you’re good.

Just like I gave myself to you, I can slip away.

Oh, and wouldn’t that be a treat if only you could take me.
Slices

April 16th, 2020

Whole as you may be, you serve me with slices of you,

Sweet one moment, uncertain the next.

Kind and attentive, withdrawn the next.

A bit like a slice of bread, buttered only on one side.

pexels.com
Sunshine

April 7th, 2020

The sun will shine Child.

you who thought you ruled the world,

See how she goes on, un-bothered by your woes.

pexels.com

She thrives, brighter than yesterday,

Oh Child, don’t you see it…you who came into this space after her,

Smile, laugh, love and for each breath give thanks…

She shines on everyone, doesn’t she?

Well, how is then that you thought you could keep her to yourself?
My Love

April 6th, 2020

My Love is like a series,

He intrigues at first glance, draws you in and keeps you guessing.

My Love is like a series,

As you watch him, so does the world,

Sometimes he is true, sometimes he is but what you desire him to be,

But rarely is he what he wishes to be for fear of losing an audience.

My Love is like a series,

He has a following as much as those who hate on him.

My Love is like a series,

As you begin season one, someone has had five seasons of him, and some are enjoying re-runs.

Avon Stalling: http://www.pexels.com

My Love is like a series,

He is what you perceive him to be depending on the time, day, place and mood you’re in.

Sometimes with a glass of wine, he’s mellow.

Sometimes with popcorn, he keeps you so glued that you forget your friends’ warnings.

Sometimes as you do the dishes, you yell ‘liar! he ain’t good for you,’ because you know the script so well and those spoilers online already told you he’s cheating.

My Love is like a series,

Just like any other production, you can choose to forget about him, to walk away, love yourself and in so doing- find that you were the Producer all along.
Get Out of Your Own Way by Dave Hollis: Book Review

April 4th, 2020

Oh, I loved this book! Dave truly went there, he had the conversation that he didn’t want to and out of it wrote this book that called out most of the lies we tell ourselves.

About this book:

When Dave Hollis’s wife, Rachel, began writing her #1 New York Times bestselling book, Girl, Wash Your Face, he bristled at her transparency and her willingness to talk about such intimate details of their life. But when a looming career funk, a growing drinking problem, and a challenging trek through therapy battered the Disney executive and father of four, Dave began to realize he was letting untruths about himself dictate his life. As he sank to the bottom of his valley, he had to make a choice. Would he push himself out of his comfort zone to become the best man he was capable of being, or would he play it safe and settle for mediocrity?

In Get Out of Your Own Way,Dave tackles topics he once found it difficult to be honest about, things like his struggles with alcohol, problems in his marriage, and his insecurities about being a dad. Dave helps us see our own journeys more clearly as he unpacks the lies he once believed—such as “I Have to Have It All Together,” “Failure Means You’re Weak,” and “If They Doesn’t Need Me, Will They Still Want Me?”—and reveals the tools that helped him change his life.

My take on it:

It does not matter that his wife is also a great writer- calling out BS in women and the lies society indoctrinates in us- or that he’s writing from his life experiences as a man- this book is a great read because from the very beginning he calls out the truth on self-help books. He says “self-help is the tie between growth and fulfillment.”

He drives the point home “in order to grow, you need to put in the work and learn to kick the lies putting limits on who and what you can be.”

He calls you out before you give excuses. You’ve got to put in the work, like he learned to and continue doing so if you’re to get any better.

Some pointers that stood out for me and I am currently working on during this period of isolation are:

Commit to the habits that fuel you.

Success can mess up with you just as much as failure.

Roll up your sleeves and do the work

Redefine how you measure success in your work

A huge thank you to the publisher for granting me an eARC, this book will appeal to everyone who’s ever felt like they aren’t enough and the tone of writing makes it a book you can read anywhere at any time, with take away points for reflection.

Verdict:

Get a copy: from Amazon
Are We Done Fighting? by Matthew Legge: Book Review

March 29th, 2020

Three things stand out in this book: we’ve got to communicate better, as human beings we learn a lot of things and hate, anger, biases, prejudices are part of the things we learn and can unlearn as well, and finally- to create and continue living in peace, we’ve got to put in the work.

About the book:

Unfounded beliefs and hateful political and social divisions that can cascade into violence are threatening to pull the world apart. Responding to fear and aggression strategically and with compassion is vital if we are to push back against the politics of hate and live in greater safety and harmony.

But how to do it?

Are We Done Fighting? is brimming with the latest research, practical activities, and inspirational stories of success for cultivating inner change and spreading peace at the community level and beyond.

I love the format of this book, especially the tips to be learned at the end of each chapter and the group activities. This book right here is an action-oriented read and the author draws from lots of examples, occurrences and case studies all over the world to share insights on human interaction and conflict. It’s a great resource for schools, groups, communities and an even much better training tool for Facilitators.

What the author shares, or the skills he proposes herein are not new- rather his approach, the step by step guide through this book key in the activity sessions is what is refreshing. He comes from the point of view that it can be done, that we can understand each other amidst the hate, fake news and division in the world- but only if we put in the work, if we are willing to check ourselves, to take a step back and evaluate our emotions and our actions as well.

This book and the implementation and success of most of what is shared herein, lies in the ability to communicate and though this is key and a fundamental aspect of humanity- I’d be interested in taking this beyond words and into actions, for people who are deaf, blind, mute-who may have experienced violence and need healing as well.

So, I’m glad I got to read this there’s a quote that opens up Chapter 2 in the book that spoke to me and I’ll share it:

As long as you cannot face yourself and love even those ugly parts, I will be left with the work of trying to love what you cannot bear to Witness.

To the publishing and marketing team (especially Keira) thanks for reaching out and providing me with a copy of this book, I’m challenged to explore my understanding and interaction to enhance peace.

You can buy the book online at: Amazon

About the author:

Matthew Legge is passionate about making communication honest, simple, and accessible. He’s worked in the nonprofit sector since 2006 with a focus on building health, dignity, and human rights. Hes supported locally-led peace initiatives in North America, Latin America, the Caribbean, Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. Visit: https://arewedonefighting.com/