Whole as you may be, you serve me with slices of you,
Sweet one moment, uncertain the next.
Kind and attentive, withdrawn the next.
A bit like a slice of bread, buttered only on one side.
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The sun will shine Child.
you who thought you ruled the world,
See how she goes on, un-bothered by your woes.
pexels.com She thrives, brighter than yesterday,
Oh Child, don’t you see it…you who came into this space after her,
Smile, laugh, love and for each breath give thanks…
She shines on everyone, doesn’t she?
Well, how is then that you thought you could keep her to yourself?
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My Love is like a series,
He intrigues at first glance, draws you in and keeps you guessing.
My Love is like a series,
As you watch him, so does the world,
Sometimes he is true, sometimes he is but what you desire him to be,
But rarely is he what he wishes to be for fear of losing an audience.
My Love is like a series,
He has a following as much as those who hate on him.
My Love is like a series,
As you begin season one, someone has had five seasons of him, and some are enjoying re-runs.
Avon Stalling: http://www.pexels.com My Love is like a series,
He is what you perceive him to be depending on the time, day, place and mood you’re in.
Sometimes with a glass of wine, he’s mellow.
Sometimes with popcorn, he keeps you so glued that you forget your friends’ warnings.
Sometimes as you do the dishes, you yell ‘liar! he ain’t good for you,’ because you know the script so well and those spoilers online already told you he’s cheating.
My Love is like a series,
Just like any other production, you can choose to forget about him, to walk away, love yourself and in so doing- find that you were the Producer all along.
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Oh, I loved this book! Dave truly went there, he had the conversation that he didn’t want to and out of it wrote this book that called out most of the lies we tell ourselves.
About this book:
When Dave Hollis’s wife, Rachel, began writing her #1 New York Times bestselling book, Girl, Wash Your Face, he bristled at her transparency and her willingness to talk about such intimate details of their life. But when a looming career funk, a growing drinking problem, and a challenging trek through therapy battered the Disney executive and father of four, Dave began to realize he was letting untruths about himself dictate his life. As he sank to the bottom of his valley, he had to make a choice. Would he push himself out of his comfort zone to become the best man he was capable of being, or would he play it safe and settle for mediocrity?
In Get Out of Your Own Way,Dave tackles topics he once found it difficult to be honest about, things like his struggles with alcohol, problems in his marriage, and his insecurities about being a dad. Dave helps us see our own journeys more clearly as he unpacks the lies he once believed—such as “I Have to Have It All Together,” “Failure Means You’re Weak,” and “If They Doesn’t Need Me, Will They Still Want Me?”—and reveals the tools that helped him change his life.
My take on it:
It does not matter that his wife is also a great writer- calling out BS in women and the lies society indoctrinates in us- or that he’s writing from his life experiences as a man- this book is a great read because from the very beginning he calls out the truth on self-help books. He says “self-help is the tie between growth and fulfillment.”
He drives the point home “in order to grow, you need to put in the work and learn to kick the lies putting limits on who and what you can be.”
He calls you out before you give excuses. You’ve got to put in the work, like he learned to and continue doing so if you’re to get any better.
Some pointers that stood out for me and I am currently working on during this period of isolation are:
Commit to the habits that fuel you.
Success can mess up with you just as much as failure.
Roll up your sleeves and do the work
Redefine how you measure success in your work
A huge thank you to the publisher for granting me an eARC, this book will appeal to everyone who’s ever felt like they aren’t enough and the tone of writing makes it a book you can read anywhere at any time, with take away points for reflection.
Verdict:
Get a copy: from Amazon
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Three things stand out in this book: we’ve got to communicate better, as human beings we learn a lot of things and hate, anger, biases, prejudices are part of the things we learn and can unlearn as well, and finally- to create and continue living in peace, we’ve got to put in the work.
About the book:
Unfounded beliefs and hateful political and social divisions that can cascade into violence are threatening to pull the world apart. Responding to fear and aggression strategically and with compassion is vital if we are to push back against the politics of hate and live in greater safety and harmony.
But how to do it?
Are We Done Fighting? is brimming with the latest research, practical activities, and inspirational stories of success for cultivating inner change and spreading peace at the community level and beyond.
I love the format of this book, especially the tips to be learned at the end of each chapter and the group activities. This book right here is an action-oriented read and the author draws from lots of examples, occurrences and case studies all over the world to share insights on human interaction and conflict. It’s a great resource for schools, groups, communities and an even much better training tool for Facilitators.
What the author shares, or the skills he proposes herein are not new- rather his approach, the step by step guide through this book key in the activity sessions is what is refreshing. He comes from the point of view that it can be done, that we can understand each other amidst the hate, fake news and division in the world- but only if we put in the work, if we are willing to check ourselves, to take a step back and evaluate our emotions and our actions as well.
This book and the implementation and success of most of what is shared herein, lies in the ability to communicate and though this is key and a fundamental aspect of humanity- I’d be interested in taking this beyond words and into actions, for people who are deaf, blind, mute-who may have experienced violence and need healing as well.
So, I’m glad I got to read this there’s a quote that opens up Chapter 2 in the book that spoke to me and I’ll share it:
As long as you cannot face yourself and love even those ugly parts, I will be left with the work of trying to love what you cannot bear to Witness.
To the publishing and marketing team (especially Keira) thanks for reaching out and providing me with a copy of this book, I’m challenged to explore my understanding and interaction to enhance peace.
You can buy the book online at: Amazon
About the author:
Matthew Legge is passionate about making communication honest, simple, and accessible. He’s worked in the nonprofit sector since 2006 with a focus on building health, dignity, and human rights. Hes supported locally-led peace initiatives in North America, Latin America, the Caribbean, Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. Visit: https://arewedonefighting.com/
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Find me in the silence, he says.
Find me in the place where the noise from the world comes to a hush, or a whisper, where it feels like the only truth you’d find is the one that is.
“What if I don’t want to find you?” I ask and he smiles.
“I knew you would ask that, you question everything Dee, and it is great if only you would stop to listen to answers you receive. Find me Dee.”
I shake my head and continue writing the dialogue I was working on. It’s the next book I hope to publish and everything about the lead character evades me. He knows I’m in my world and so he walks away.
pexels.com I know how many steps he takes to the door before he stops because I count when he’s not listening. How odd it is that he asks of me what he knows I would not provide.
Apples.
I suddenly want to eat three apples- something red and crunchy and healthy…and what’s in my house is an endless supply of tea bags, sugar, water and two oranges.
He calls me, “Dee…” and I look up at him and he says “stay safe!” I nod and smile and tell him “you too.” What hurts is knowing he will drown himself in another bottle of whisky thinking he can have and destroy what he has at will.
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He says my love is like thunder, so loud it cannot be ignored.
Sometimes when I am not looking, he would make notes, scribble thoughts that came to him about me,
So, when I call, he knows that there is something…he does not need to ask,
“Do you know what bothers me about you Dee…it’s just that you are too good and too slippery for anyone. You run before anyone can think of catching you, like the wind, no, like the unknown…when will you hold still for love?”
“Did you read the book I sent you?” I ask.
He laughs. He knows me and yet I refuse to accept this truth.
“What are friends for?”
“So, what do you think?” I ask in between sips of my third cup of coffee. It’s too hot inside this house but I’d rather sweat and pace up and down than let the mosquitoes in.
“Love…it’s like giving someone white flowers when you know you want to present them with a rose, a single red rose and the truth between those two gestures is in the actions that prompted you to present them with flowers in the first place.”
“An apology…”
“No, when you know you cannot catch the wind and you’ve tried all your life, what comes next is more painful than an apology Dee…it’s surrender.”
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I hope that wherever you are as you read this, you are safe, well hydrated and if you’ve got an elderly person near you- you’ve checked in on them. Called in to say hello, or helped share some essentials you stocked up on that they don’t have.
I have been writing mostly and simply trying to get myself in motion in the house- so here are two things that I learned help:
- 30 Day fitness challenge App: the 5 to 10 second workouts are great energy boosters
- Drinking lots of water and listening to music.
So, I was in Nairobi this past weekend and the Kenyan government’s call for self quarantine came in right after I’d done my book shopping and I’m glad I got to get these titles to keep me busy.
What are you reading?
Whatever you do, stay hydrated, wash your hands frequently with soap and call your loved ones…neighbors, colleagues, just check in on people.
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The Old man’s wife reached out to brush away the single tear that made its way past the gates of Naima’s eyes.
She nodded and took her arm and led her to their home. As they walked on, they caught up with Shoka and in looking at the Princess now in close step with the man and woman, Shoka could only nod for he too knew what it felt to have everything taken away from you.
If there was one thing he held onto was the fact that the Princess would never stop fighting. He could not tell whether it was the best gift from her Father or the best spirit she inherited from her Mother. He only knew that for as long as she fought, the world would keep hitting her and what a sad life for royalty! The four walked on, each step articulating the silence that filled their thoughts. When they got to the Elder’s home, Naima and Shoka were led to a hut right behind the animal shed. It was dimly lit and Shoka could not purge the stench of goat urine from his nostrils as he accepted the seat he’d been offered. Naima was closely watching him. He leaned back in the seat, closed his eyes and attempted to sleep away the stench that would be his companion for the night.
As the old man retreated, he opened one eye, glanced at Naima and she was still looking at him, “you do not know how to hide your discomfort Shoka, for a man who was declared mad, you are worse than royalty.”
“Ei, I never thought in my life that I would accompany a Princess in the dark into a dark hut where the goats pissed in our mouths as we slept.”
Naima threw her head back the laughter exploding from her attracting the attention of the Elder’s wife who came rushing with two blankets. “Are you alright my child?” she asked, looking from Naima to Shoka. After a while, Shoka stood up and asked if he could watch the stars, leaving Naima in the company of her concerned host.
He shook his head watched his palms and gently placed his hand on the left side of his chest. He was alive. He was still whole and there had been a moment where he forgot his place, she was a Princess while he was an outcast, doing a favor for a friend.
pexels.com His eyes traveled the sky, glancing from one twinkling star to another before settling on the full moon. His parents had worshipped her. The sound of his mother’s singing to the moon, asking her to watch over her husband and his friends while they were out on the lake, filled his ears.
The kind of ringing he drowned with wine. It was the good memories he drowned…for they assailed him more than the bad ones.
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I heard you in a song, and just like that,
my words didn’t matter,
How is it that every chord knew so much about us?
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nilichoandika 