nilichoandika

A Writer’s Frustrations

July 4th, 2018
It’s 10:58AM on a Wednesday morning and I am seated at a table, at the New Victoria Hotel as I write this. I have just ordered a cup of tea. I am writing this as I listen to Dan+Shay’s self titled album, right now the song that’s playing is “Alone Together.”

I am not okay. I am far from it and the only thing stopping me from breaking down is the simple act of typing this post. My battery’s at 23% and even that is enough to send me in a downward spiral.

I just walked here from Maseno University. I had a meeting with my Mentor. I handed him five copies of the first half of the novel I was to release in May this year and he was going through it with four beta readers.

I’ll break it down for you, they loved half of it and totally hated the other half. This means one thing, I am back to square one and cannot release a book that’s long overdue! I am not okay and I’m on the verge of tearing this manuscript to shreds, or using it to light the jiko this evening, but even then, this is my lowest point.

You’d think that for someone who has interacted with quite a number of Kenyan publishers and opted for self-publishing later on, that I’d know better by now.

Well, each book is different and writers get frustrated.

I know I get frustrated when:
- I can’t seem to get my words right.
- No cover image communicates what my book is all about and I can have over ten covers before settling for one that is either miles from the story or is right on.
- I release a book and get those less than 3 star ratings. Seriously, why?
- I started a book thinking this character would do this and somewhere in the story they seem to take a life of their own.
- I can’t seem to kill a character or do away with them.
- People expect free PDF copies and go to those book groups and whatsapp groups to share free ePUB or PDF copies of a book that took me years to write!
- My mentor says ‘scrap this’ and it’s a whole chapter. We argue, I storm out and cry or nod sometimes, but when I think about it, he’s always right.
- I don’t get feedback on my book. PS: One time, I gave this author a copy of my book to read in exchange for hers and I read and gave her my views on the book but it’s been two years and she’s never read mine. *sigh*
- The story does not flow.
I’ll go back to work and then maybe get to bed early and see what tomorrow awaits. I’ve already received four titles from NetGalley to read this weekend and even though I am scheduled to have a sit-down with the beta readers on Saturday, I’ll binge on these four romance novels and pray for some peace of mind.
Miles

July 3rd, 2018

And so we ran away,

We ran away from the sight, thought, and idea of ‘us’.

You hid in your ambition

You proved this with your silence, a trail that grew cold.

I accepted your silence and cherished in my freedom, I never relinquished control,

I did what I wanted to, when I wanted to.

And so we ran away,

Miles from each other, but somehow, the universe was not done with us.

She asked for a rerun,

We almost gave in,

But nothing beats the thrill of running and now, I’m miles away not be swayed.
The TMI Tag!

July 2nd, 2018

It’s been a week or so since I took up any challenge and I love me some awesome tags! I came across this tag on Just Call Me Elm or Something aka JustElm’s blog and I had to jump right in…before I chicken out, let’s see…

courtesy of Google Images. thank them.

1: What are you wearing?
A t-shirt, black shorts.

2: Ever been in love?
Yes.

3: Ever had a terrible breakup?
I’m not so sure, was it? I don’t know.

4: How tall are you?
I am 169cm tall, convert that into feet and inches 🙂

5: How much do you weigh?
I’ll say that for the record, I haven’t been taking good care of myself and eating right, so I’m a little under 53kgs.

6: Any tattoos?
Nope.

7: Any piercings?
I have two on each ear, I’ll probably get a third or fourth depending on my love for earrings.

8: OTP?
Alec and Magnus from THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS/THE BANE CHRONICLES…and if you’re into TV, then The ShadowHunters.

9: Favourite Show?
Bull, for now.

10: Favourite bands?
Muse, Daughtry, Lifehouse, SnowPatrol, 1D (I still dance to their songs)

11: Something you miss?
Listening to myself.

12: Favourite song?
At the moment, El Mismo sol by Alvaro Soler. Listen.

13: How old are you?
Really, haven’t you been all over my blog?

14: Zodiac sign?
Pisces

15: Quality you look for in a partner?
Gotta work on myself first, will say that I’m all about play and a bit of that never hurt a soul, so…yeah, until I work on myself, I’m not talking about this.

16: Favourite Quote?
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

-Rhett, Gone with the Wind

17: Favorite actor?
Ai, I’m not a movie buff or so big on visuals.

18: Favourite colour?
Orange

19: Loud music or soft?
Depends on how I’m feeling

20: Where do you go when you’re sad?
I retreat into my head, sometimes I cry it out, write it out or sleep through it.

21: How long does it take you to shower?
As long as I feel sweaty, well, let’s just say I do contribute to the water bill escalating.

22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
Ten minutes tops!

23: Ever been in a physical fight?
No no no.

24: Turn on?
🙂

25: Turn off?
Where do I start?

26: The reason I joined WordPress?
I wanted to share my weird thoughts and stories with the world and they had those damn share buttons!

27: Fears?
Working on it, but if it starts with an “s” and ends with an “e”, I’m out cold.

28: Last thing that made you cry?
Watching Alec and Magnus break up on Shadowhunters. My sister still can’t get over it! I’d had an overdose that day watching “Love, Simon,” “Call Me By Your Name,” and then binge watching ShadowHunters…I had to break down at some point!

29: Last time you said you loved someone?
This morning, my Mom!

30: Meaning behind your Blog Name?
For the things I’ve written and those to come.

31: Last book you read?

32: The book you’re currently reading?

33: Last show you watched?
ShadowHunters.

34: Last person you talked to?
My younger sister.

35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
Complicated, I should be plucking rose petals by now.

36: Favourite food?
Chapo beans!

37: Place you want to visit?
Ghana.

38: Last place you were?
The Kitchen. I just got my second cup of tea.

39: Do you have a crush?
No

40: Last time you kissed someone?
720 hours ago

41: Last time you were insulted?
I wouldn’t know.

42: Favourite flavour of sweet?
Coconut.

43: What instruments do you play?
Drums, like the actual drums that are leather bound and you have to beat them using your hands. I can play the first stanza of the Kenyan anthem on the piano too, but besides that, I’m out.

44: Favourite piece of jewellery?
Earring studs.

45: Last sport you played?
You’re so funny!

46: Last song you sang?
Si no tengo a ti by Alvaro Soler.

47: favourite chat up line?
Hey, do you do coffee? I know right…

48: Have you ever used it?
I have used it thrice and let me tell you the results were hilarious! One guy, asked me “can a guy really do coffee?” and that was my cue to answer a fake call!

49: Last time you hung out with anyone?
Last week.

50: Who should answer these questions next?
Anyone who’s made it thus far should try it!
Symphony

July 2nd, 2018

Two things, two simple things could be said of her, and if I told you right now, you wouldn’t believe me.

Truth is, I wouldn’t believe myself, but she saw it. She lived it. She knew it and when the call came in at two in the morning, I knew, she’d caved in.

Two things, two simple things and sometimes, I say ‘if only’ and then at other times I look back and say ‘no way.’

Two things could be said of her and the first and saddest of all was that we all forgot to call her by her name.

Nellie.
Unfounded

June 28th, 2018

I thought I knew enough,

Not enough to lead a whole life, but enough, enough not to sink, or fall prey

It’s like a suspicion

A critter that crawls up your earlobe and whispers “It’s a lie” every time

“Don’t fall for that doll, issa scam, doll I’m telling you, issalie.”

I thought I knew enough to sail through this,

To sit back, sip my tea as everything unravels.

See, the truth you’ve been ignoring will smack you in the face.

I told you so, never caresses, it smacks you right in the face.

So, my intuition was right but my questions were unfounded.

Unfounded

Un…where is a bit of self pity when truth takes a seat, when dawn reigns, when words unravel mysteries?

See, I thought I knew enough, turns out I knew nothing because I ignored the little that I had to sustain me.
Don’t tell me it’s another post about a romance novel

June 26th, 2018

Hello World, so, today I want to talk about romance novels! Yes, wait…have I lost a couple of people? ~~I promise not to truly bore you~~. I’ll do so without a doubt, but even when I do, simply roll your eyes and read on- but have you noticed that romance novels can make you believe that falling in love is like being dipped in nectar?

And why is it that the guys always know just what to say and do to make the women swoon? We haven’t talked about the curvy descriptions in BBW books because the gods of Literature know that I have always found such descriptions worthy of an IG post!

So, let me tell you what happened to me yesterday. I was working on some reports when I thought why not log into NetGalley and see if they have new books that I could read.

I log in and go to “Find Titles” and since I have a 10 minute break, I simply go to “Read Now” and bham!

The gods of Literature approved and I got the book. I read the first part of the blurb:

Nikki Elliot is running out of time. After a season and a half of struggling to rebuild her racing career thanks to a near-fatal accident, she is faced with the ugly truth: it’s going to take a miracle to make her lifelong dream of racing in Formula 1 a reality. The trouble is, Nikki doesn’t believe in miracles. When Fate sends her help in the form of a quiet, sexy mechanic, however, Nikki realizes that miracles do happen: the ones you hope for and the ones you least expect. But just as things look like they’re falling into place, Nikki discovers that miracles come at a steep price.

So, the heroine’s Nikki and the “Quiet, sexy Mechanic” is Jake. Right, this sounds interesting…

Jake’s the guy who found his mom with her wrists slashed in their house. He’s the guy who hated his Dad for being a Mafia boss and got into trouble so much so that he changed his name! He’s also the guy who’s out of prison for assault (he had to defend his mother’s honor by beating the vile out of his stepdad’s mouth) and he can’t get custody of his younger brother, Dario, because one thing’s certain, Jake can’t keep cool! He comes home, finds out he’s been robbed. Hooks up with some girl-Angela (she’s trouble on legs) then finds out that he’d be working with ‘the Nikki Elliot’ the girl he’s been crushing on for years!

And before you hate me for spilling so much tea! Listen to this…they are freaking Italians!

They both happen to belong to two of the most powerful Mafia families, and since both of them changed their names, it takes one temperamental buff- named Damon, to unravel the mystery and while at it, help Nikki find out who’s out to end her life!

Now, I don’t know why authors can make readers swoon because the Italian phrases that were thrown here were enough to make me sit down and drink three cups of tea and then some Fanta BlackCurrant. (Coglione, tesoro, La pormetto,Dio mio, Solo tu per sempre)

What would a romance novel be without the chemistry and the heat? This has lots of it but what struck me Jake’s reluctance to act on his instincts and the welcome invitations he got from Nikki. I was so frustrated at some point that I screamed “Come on! Dude! Go get her and quit selling yourself short!”

The writing is simple and the dialogues interesting. I do however noted that there were characters that were forgotten about so fast I couldn’t help but feel that they were poorly discarded. In this case, it’s Nikki’s brothers.

What would big brothers be without their little brothers? In this book, Dario’s the younger one but he’s also the one to speak up when Jake can’t. When he meets Nikki, he starts:

“I was right,” he said, eyeing her.

Nikki arched a brow. “About what?”

“My brother…He’s crazy about you. He has been since you guys started working together.”

So, I get it that this book is the first in the series. I also get that it’s categorized as New Adult/ Romance but my two-cents believes it should go for at least $1.99 but hey, I’m just a reader who got the chance to enjoy this book and talk about it.

PS: All GIF’s courtesy of Google Images

Here’s one for you:

Prove my fan-girling wrong: Get the book on Amazon today it’s $0.99
A Pinch of Salt

June 25th, 2018

Sarah’s the kind of girl who drips sauce. She knows she is right before you speak and that the world owes her nothing but applause for how great she is.

If you were to meet her at Buddy’s at six in the evening, you’d wonder who buys a whole bottle of liquor and drinks it as though she were climbing a mountain, one sip at a time. Slow burns.

If you were to meet her at Tuskys on a Sunday evening, you would marvel at perfection, for the milk and vegetables never touch the tissues and the soap. It’s a crime to contaminate food that you look forward to relishing.

Sarah’s the kind of girl who laughs from the depths of her soul.

She’s the girl who will come when you call at four in the morning, the kind that will ask you “what’s the guy’s name?” and conduct a thorough online search. If you are unlucky, she’ll hack into his messenger, whatsapp, twitter and IG DM’s and tell you what kind of skunk he is. Sarah’s that kind of girl.

If you were to meet her in the house, that house, somewhere behind Lumumba, where you take a left, go past the fundi wa viatu and count three red doors, then get to the green door…you’d see the shadows that drip venom. The kind of venom that crippled her mom and later on sent her sister six feet under.

The kind of venom that’s coated in honey and welcomes you into the throngs of destruction.

Sarah’s the kind of girl who drips sauce, you see sugar and spice, the world see awesomeness, but she let me see her bleeding veins and when she turned to look at me and we were outside that green door…I felt like she had poured a pinch of salt on my bleeding soul, the trouble with bleeding souls is that….
Weekend Updates

June 23rd, 2018
Hi, how’s your Saturday coming along?

I hope all’s well with you and that you get some rest or get to do something that adds value to your well-being. As for me, let’s just say that Saturdays are my binge reading days where I get to lounge and read more than two books.

So, let’s get right into the three books that I can’t wait to read today!

Disruptive Play: The Trickster In Politics and Culture connects knowledge from mythology, folklore, popular culture, art, politics, and play theory to make its case that to be playful means not taking power seriously. At critical mass, power collapses and leaves us swimming about in the waters of the amoral Trickster.New values emerge and could lead to some version of the dystopia that currently drenches popular culture. Or, if people can discern between the authentic contact and exhilaration of play, and branded, mediated, alienated pleasure, then we just might stumble and frolic our way to the Play Society. Disurptive Play is ideal for enthusiasts of the human condition and those who hold out for the vision, however slim, of the Play Society.

A fascinating account of how radical researchers have used experiments to overturn conventional wisdom and shaped life as we know it

A medical mystery/fantasy/love story that delves deeply into the nature of consciousness while raising many of the ethical and existential issues facing scientists today.

On writing:

I’m making progress with Sifuna and it feels good to be writing again and believing that there is a story to tell after all. My Mentor affirmed this by saying “If I were you, I’d end the story at page fifty, after that, all hell breaks loose.”

The August issue of Nilichoandika Magazine is starting to take shape. I’ve got three submissions from awesome young writers in neighboring countries that I can’t wait to share their works with the world.

On travel and work: I’ve got my sights set on a Youth Summit in July and my hope is that I get to submit a paper I’ve been working on that challenges governments to focus on Adolescent Mental Health.

On the World Cup: Well, this year it’s all about the underdogs and I’ll do what I do best, get a good look at the line-up and relish the close up on the faces of the players before the matches start. So we’ve got Group F( South Korea vs Mexico; Germany vs Sweden) and then in the next group (Belgium vs Tunisia).

I’m currently:
- Listening to – God I Look to You by Bethel Music.
- Drinking– my second cup of milk tea
- Hoping to– sit down and edit this week’s report.
10 Reasons Why I’m not fit to be a Fashion Blogger

June 20th, 2018
So, I was getting ready to go into town when Odhis called and right after I answered his call, you know, swiped right on that green icon that pops up when someone calls you. He said “your dress is ready and the skirt too.” I said “okay, thanks,” and he ended the call. Odhis knows his fabric and stitches but he’s poor at phone calls. He’s also poor at flattery. The first time I showed him a skirt I’d seen on Pinterest, he just shook his head and said “there’s no way I’m making that skirt for you, it’s not for your body. I cannot let you look like a walking potato.”

So, over time I learned to give him free reign and simply enjoy what he’s made for me.

I got the skirt and dress and when I got home, my younger sister insisted that I should take some Gram worthy photos. She said “you can’t just store them away without taking photos, so try them out and I’ll direct you, something like a fashion shoot.”

I gave her my Camera and ladies and gentlemen…we took over forty photos and six made the cut! Six! So, here are four of the photos and the reasons why I’m clearly not fit to be a Fashion Blogger

So, this was my first pose and it took me seven tries to master it 😦

Had to show off this cool bag :-), um…the nails and the ring courtesy of LemonF @KilimallKenya

Bangles: Hilton Arcade Kenya,

Earrings, got them off a store at Kisumu City Business Park for $1

And finally, the dress!
1. Yeah, the whole posing thing, not my vibe! My cheeks hurt due to smiling and I’ve got fat cheeks so, there’s no way I am burning that extra fat as someone clicks away.
2. The selection process. We took forty and six made the cut, and as I type this (Jackie) made sure only four were revealed. It’s frustrating for a first timer like me.
3. I’m not so keen on background and lights and all that stuff! Yes, I take photos and know all about this but when someone else is doing it, I’m not cooperative.
4. Being a Fashion Blogger is knowing a thing or two about trends. I don’t.
5. I’m a Writer, I am enjoying writing about my experience more than having to go through changing and posing.
6. Planning and layout, I just can’t, not with clothes and stuff.
7. Did I mention that this takes a lot of planning, to get the right angle and even when I look at the photos, I’m still like…no, there’s not a single photo where I did the peace sign!
8. I’m not very fit. Squatting in wedges almost had me not smiling 😦
9. I suck at giving the outfit details, like who would get a hold of the person who sold me the earrings.
10. This doesn’t look anywhere as eye-catching as all the Fashion blogs I see.
I’m sending all my love, utmost understanding and respect to all the fashion bloggers in the world. Keep posting awesome trends and making it look so easy WHILE IT’S NOT, for amateurs like me 🙂 I’d also love to send a bigger shout out to my younger sister for awarding me the ‘most difficult’ amateur model she’s ever worked with.

There you have it, my ten reasons or whining if you please, on why I’m not fit to be a fashion blogger, so I’ll stick to my writing and see where that takes me!
This or That Book Tag

June 19th, 2018

I typed in”book tags” in the search bar in my reader page and this book tag came up. I loved the responses given on Book Bastion and so, here’s me giving it a go.

Reading on the Bed or the Couch

Couch, because I can always get up and do something else.

Male main characters or Female main characters?

I don’t mind, as long as they keep me glued to the book!

Sweet snacks or salty snacks while reading?

Who snacks while reading?

Like seriously, have you ever tried eating pop corns or crisps while reading? Nope, I’m more of either a coffee or tea drinker.

Trilogies or Quartets?

Trilogies.

Reading First person or Third person POV?

Both are awesome.

Reading at night or in the morning?

Now, seriously…reading on the matatu, reading during tea-break or lunch-break at work, reading while waiting to be served at Huduma or a Bank, reading while listening to Eminem’s Revival and Recovery albums, reading while pretending to be taking an afternoon nap, reading at Java while waiting for my coffee…

Libraries or Bookstores

Bookstores.

Books that make you laugh or cry

I love books that make me cry. I cry easily and some books can really break your heart!

Black book covers or white book covers?

Black book covers are divine!

Character driven or plot driven?

I’m more into people, so it’s easier for me to relate to a character or two in a book, and that’s why I’d say character driven!

That’s it for now, I’ve got to submit a work report now. Have an awesome week!

T.M.I:

Currently reading: The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory

Listening to: King Of My Heart by Bethel Music

Looking forward to a much needed tea break!