I know not to flee for when I do, your scent assails me wherever I go.
You come to me on your terms and sometimes,
Just sometimes…I wish I could wake you up.
I wish you cared a little more,
I wish you would have told me this before,
So, I would not try to cage you…to grasp you in my hand, in the comfort of my palms pressing closer, drawing the life out of you.
They told you a man had to stand his ground,
They told you not to let me have my way with you,
So, you chose them over a quiet dinner with me,
You chose them because it felt safe not to be mocked by them.
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So, I brought down the walls of the cage I had set up for you…
I took one step back, then two, then three and when you were not looking, I ran.
I did not catch my breath,
17 missed calls…12 texts, 8 missed video calls,
I ran because it was safer to be miles away from you than to stay and let you treat me as your status dictated.
Now, here we are…you are a shadow of yourself and I have no regrets.
You want to speak of everything now, you want to pour it out but at the gate of your heart lies this barrier, the one that still calls me the villain, and I see it in your eyes
Hold me while you wait, hold onto me while you wait,
Maybe…just maybe, you’ll one day find the courage to live on your own terms,
Now, here we are, you are a shadow of yourself and I have no regrets.
She looked up and saw a man fighting with his spirit to remain upright. In his hand was a small gourd, no doubt whatever was in it was responsible for his swaying and not the wind. She shook her head and smiled.
“Why are you following me?” she asked.
“Me? Follow you? Enhe, stretch out your feet and place them against mine, do they fit? Does it look like I can step where you have stepped with those tiny feet?”
“Well, then, it was nice meeting you, do not follow me if you want to keep your throat!”
“Enhe! Wait…just wait daughter of the most beautiful one, you should not go back right now.”
“I see, so you are following me and where do you think I am going back to?”
“You are as stubborn as the donkeys that we whip! Look, I don’t care what you think of me, but I find it easier to be dismissed by fools not by wise ones. So I will tell you again, you should not go back right now, if you like, you can ask me why.”
“Why?”
“Because it is not yet time and why would you leave the one you love in the hands of the one who wants to sway his heart towards her?”
“That, like the rising and setting of the sun is none of your concern, what worries me is why you hide behind the drink when you do not worship it.”
“Ah, I always knew you were a smart thing, but Enzi is the kingdom of fools and do you know what happens to anyone who thinks otherwise? We bind them, pour ash on them and strike them until they go mad and then we summon the entire kingdom to prove we were right.”
“Shoka, son of Imara…it is a pleasure to finally meet you.”
“Naima, daughter of the most beautiful one, Queen of Enzi, ruler of the four kingdoms, daughter of the sun, friend of the moon and fearer of none…the pleasure is all mine.”
“Just call me Naima and would you keep that gourd away? You are neither a drunk nor a mad man, now tell me why I should not go back to Enzi and do not remind me of the plot between Zuriand the Queen of Yajayo to keep Zola in custody until I return. I know all too well when a girl yearns for a man, or have you forgotten that the wicked witch of Enzi has four daughters?”
“Princess, you sell yourself short…sometimes we have to fight ourselves to get what we deserve.”
“Zola can decide for himself.”
“Have you made yourself an option my Princess?”
“Do I have to?”
“Oh, beautiful one…many men may fall at your feet, but the one you want to look into your eyes should know that you choose to lift them off the ground. The one who so yearns to be with you needs to know that you’ll fight for him just as much as you are fighting for yourself, the memory of your mother and the women of Enzi…didn’t anyone ever teach you that?”
I smile at how easy it is for you to liken me to seasons.
You smile, and it’s the best look you’ve had this year.
“Love, you are like Fall, you come once in a year and everyone looks forward to you, to seeing you, to being around you, because you radiate such light and love, I am jealous. How do you give your time to everyone and still have some left for yourself? Sometimes, well…most times, I feel like you slip through my fingers and settle right on my skin so I go everywhere with you…”
“You’re so cheesy…” I say and shrug. You are miles away from me.
Your voice is the home I know and now…now I miss home.
I tell you all about my travel experience and you laugh…you wish you were there to see my face and make fun of me, but you’re not…so we laugh some more.
“Hey, I’m not cheesy, you just make me say things that I never would.”
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