nilichoandika

Crown

September 13th, 2019

I know of a tale.

It goes something like this, “once upon a time, years before the gods made man, there lived a being unlike no other. Her heart was the sun and her smile the moon. She shone brighter than every light known to the gods and in her presence there was glory.”

I know of a tale.

It goes something like this, “once upon a time, when man thought it wise to take another, he left his home and went to another being of beauty. Every day that he spent away from his home, his beloved’s heart grew cold. It grew so cold that when he’d lost everything he had; he came back to find a fortress around his home. He called a passer by and asked “who built this wall here?”

The passer by looked at him and shook his head, “don’t you know what happened? Some foolish man left his home for another and this wall right here is what remains of his wife’s heart. The poor woman died of a broken heart.”

I know of a tale.

It goes something like this, “once upon a time…”

I know of one tale right now, being of beauty, shine as bright as you can, dim the fear and doubts that try to cloud your light by saying ‘you are not good enough.’

You are a galaxy, being of beauty, in you are eons of splendor, own it!

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It’s the little things

September 12th, 2019

Have you ever experienced a missed opportunity and wondered how did it pass me by? Or, how did I miss that?

Lately, I find myself asking this of every person I encounter- and I know I get lost in my mind often, however, the past six days have been full of such moments where I pause to ask ‘what did I miss?’ every time I engage someone in a discussion.

My friend says it’s the INFJ in me, and sometimes she mentions it’s the Pisces in me, but I am more inclined to her saying that it’s the human in me. Bottom line- it’s frustrating me now because I am unable to focus on my writing- and haven’t read the book I really want to read.

Today was the highlight of my ‘what did I miss moments?’ because a colleague during discussion paused to ask me ‘how do you know what I am going to say before I even say it? And do you know that you really look at people in a way that can make them uncomfortable? Are you studying me…like right now?’

I did not answer any of her questions because unbeknownst to her, my mind was reeling with so many thoughts about my work and community meetings- going over every agenda I discussed and praying that I synchronized my notes using my new Violet Gel pen. My colleague did not press me for an answer and I hope she never will, for it’s dawning on me that I need a time out.

I need time to decompress or do what I always call ‘exhale’ and simply be me- in my own space. So, as I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, I came across something that made me pause:

I have been going above and beyond, pushing myself at work-striving to achieve so much that I slowly forgot to take little breaks, to compliment myself, note the little things that I did right along the way…and now, my mind’s overwhelmed and calling for a break, a much deserved break.

It’s my hope that by acknowledging this I would be in the frame of mind I feel I need to make it through every day and also not to judge myself harshly for missing social cues or snippets of energies from people I interact with.

Indeed, it’s the little things that make an impression, it’s just we often see the forest and applaud nature but forget to single out the trees.
Flame

September 4th, 2019

My love is like a flame.

It knows your name,

Accepts your shame,

Keeps you safe from blame.

My love is like a flame,

It knows how to ignite,

Even when we don’t fight,

It gets you just right.

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My love is like a flame,

Forget those lines up there and know that it knows how to keep the temperature right, a little bit of heat, a little bit of zing, a slow burn, or full on roast.

My love is like a flame, isn’t it odd that I am the one who gets consumed by it?
A little more to the left

September 3rd, 2019

“How do you do that?” You asked.

I was seated reading Tyrants and sipping coffee, my legs folded beneath me and as always, my heart a steady reminder of this proximity we have.

You draw me to your weakness, and I draw you to what you could never have.

I looked up at you, my eyes casting a quick glance at the cigarette between your fingers, the pack beside you on the window sill and smiled…you let out an easy laugh, and I smiled once more, “how do I do what?”

“How do you reign in silence?” you asked.

I put the book down, walked up to you and reached for that cigarette…gently placed it in the ash tray and sat beside you.

You smiled.

Did you know that when you smile, your left eye twinkles more than the right? It’s like a star finding it’s way home, releasing the light from within.

“How is it that every time I am with you, you ask me questions that require answers beyond my comprehension?”

“You make me sound like a Philosophy class!”

“And you…you make me feel like I am attending a soul-searching session, how about that?”

“Can I have my cigarette back please? You are giving me ideas and trust me, none of them, involve the distance you’ve carefully crafted between us.”

“You still feel miles away from me?”

“You, Love, are like light…you drive away the dark, you also unveil things that I prefer to be kept hidden away from not only you and the world but also from me and that scares me…it freaks me out that as tiny as you are, you can illuminate even the parts of me that I never wanted illuminated.”

“So, I am light…”

“Love, you are nothing but light, you are what stays true in both the dark and the light and if you only knew how powerful that is…you’d never hesitate to be mine.”

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You

August 31st, 2019

You are like a confession.

I should utter you to find the release I need, but like a secret,

You choose to remain hidden.

You, are like that thought in the middle of a storm,

the silent reminder that I can let all hell break loose and I won’t die.

I wear you like a badge of honor,

Gaze upon you like a thing of wonder,

Dream of everything up yonder.

You, Stardust, are like a confession,

It’s time I utter these words and set myself free.

Christian Soler@zander222/ Unsplash.com
10 lessons learned this August

August 30th, 2019

It’s the second last day of August and can I say that 99% of me is screaming with joy because schools open in two days and that means your girl will be out and about initiating dialogue and meetings to set up infrastructure in public primary schools.

This means a lot of travel, field work, engaging diverse views and most of all, it means that I am closer to my purpose- seeking to positively impact the quality of education children get today, one school at a time.

This month’s been an interesting one. I lost three of my friends this month and it goes to show that life is as precious as you live it.

So, I thought of wrapping up this month with some of the most memorable experiences I’ve had this month.

1. I experienced varying degrees of emotion when it comes to love, attention, and intimacy.

If you can please watch this video. It’s one the talks that spoke to me in my phases.

2. My experience one, shared above, led me to check out Esther Perel and after her insights on Red Table Talk, I have watched most of her talks on YouTube, trying to reconcile my expectations versus reality when it comes to love.

3. It is possible to go without coffee for 21 days. I repeat, it is possible to go without coffee for 21 days, but the struggle means consuming a lot of tea and in my case, I had at least 3 cups of black tea every day.

4. Everyone wants something.

5. Everyone you meet has a whole lot to offer it depends on how you approach and engage with them.

If you think you know it all, chances are you know nothing at all and sometimes when you are seated at a table, negotiating terms and working around policies that would impact livelihoods, it’s best to engage silence.

6. There is something exhilarating about taking online classes.

I took 2 courses on +Acumen on: Adaptive Leadership and Environmental Sustainability Practices.

7. People call it a ‘Bucket List’ but Emica Mao, author of, Plus One Plus None, calls it “Do-While-You-Can-List.” So, whatever it is to you, write it and pursue those things relentlessly!

8. We regret the things we don’t do more than those things that we actually do.

I learned this when a colleague approached me with the latest office gossip, and given that I was the heroine of this tale, she chose to tell me that people were saying I was having an affair with one of our associates (who is married). I listened as she spoke and when she finished I asked her ‘is that so?’ and did not say anything after that. In fact, I haven’t said a thing since then and it hurts me that this tale, founded on a lie, hurts me to date. I wish I told her off.

9. Fear is good sometimes, it keeps us going.

I struggled writing my latest book, Sifuna. I wrote it, released it and then de-listed it and edited it and just cast it aside for three months, until this August when I shared it with a couple of readers. It feels good to get positive feedback especially after struggling with a story for so long. It’s more like ‘I’ve still got it.’

10. I’ll end this list with two words ‘stolen kisses.’

I am looking forward to September and what it brings. Hoping to grow more into my own and travel some more.
Galaxies

August 27th, 2019

I am having one those days where my mind’s unsettled by matters unclear to me. I’ve come to love such days. Where no sleep means time to write, to ask myself ‘what if?’ and churn a story out of that, some dark, others silly but all of them in need of editing.

It’s two minutes to five o’clock in the evening as I type this sentence.

I have had three cups of milk tea and two mandazis. The sun is in her glory outside so I am seated on the floor typing away, using words to make it through this feeling I have.

Have you ever been in love?

Have you ever been in love whilst asleep only to wake up shuddering at the level of mockery your mind would make you endure whilst reality jolted you back into facts?

I yearn for such vivid dreams. Maybe they’ll come my way, however, if they do come your way instead of me, be a darling and write about it, at least I’d read something thrilling.

Have you ever made something, shared it and then thought, no- this need work and then shelved it again? I have started editing Sifuna and cannot wait to have it published this year in Kenya.

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I thought I was a galaxy, but the mood I am in today only serves to remind me how wrong I was to think in singular whilst I dwelled in plural, so now I am changing my outlook, I am going to sit here and listen to the sound of my heart beating- remind myself of every cheerful memory my mind can conjure up and maybe then…just then will being galaxies make sense to me.
Afro Beat

August 22nd, 2019

You, my love, are like an Afro Beat…Irresistible.

So, I’ll take my time with you,

I’ll play you like a love song,

Drink you from a cauldron,

Soak you up with reckless abandon.

You, my love are an Afro Beat,

I wish you know just how much you sing to my soul.

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Castles

August 19th, 2019

You once asked me, “where do you go to when you hurt?”

I smiled, a reflex, so in tune with my soul that you almost wept.

Stardust, in these echoes of silence, I travel worlds unknown to me.

You once introduced me to your friend as a ‘Vintage Soul.”

Did you mean it?

I truly wish you did for what do you say when you have no words left.

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What do you shed when you have no more tears…or do you will yourself to shed many more, until your ducts are dry and withered…Stardust,

I choose to bleed on paper.

I wrote you a letter, did I ever tell you? No.

I did, I truly did and now, I find myself taking a step back, and another, and another…finding my way to the one place where I was wounded, because until I face that pain, I’ll be residing in Castles with you, smiling while resenting every bit of you.

And you…Stardust a child of the earth, you deserve better, and so do I.
Reading Renee’s ‘Harness the Power of Personal Branding and Executive Presence.’

August 18th, 2019

I’ve been reading interesting books this August and since I’m always looking to be better each day, it was no surprise that I would automatically read Renee Smith’s “Harness the Power of Personal Branding and Executive Presence.”

This is the kind of book you read with a pen and notebook in hand.

Here’s a bit of the background story about the book: Harness the Power of Personal Branding and Executive Presence has one purpose–to show you how to embody your authenticity and elevate your life and career.

S. Renee Smith, a nationally recognized self-esteem, branding and communication expert, and speaker, simplifies personal branding and demystifies executive presence. With each eye-opening insight, well-illustrated example, compelling story and mind elevation exercise, you’ll be engaged and inspired as you see yourself, your life, and your dreams take flight.

My take on this:

The author takes you through the personal branding journey and each chapter builds upon the previous one, such that when you are done reading, you’ve got so many things you jotted down that you’ve done or are to do that you never even thought of.

I love that she shares tips that you can use every day and not just in tune with business and investing, but also about exuding power and confidence.

Some insights that stood out for me:

Nothing is arbitrary. When someone knocks on your door with a huge opportunity that you think you aren’t ready for, stand on the fact that no one is going to put their job at risk for you. They are connecting with you because they believe you can make them look good.

Challenges set you up for success.

What is the state of of your mind?

Be still until you are ready. This is so true when it comes to change, for once you are ready to change, you owe it to yourself to be fully prepared for that journey.

How much do you charge? Every time we interact with people we are costing them something, be it time, money, emotions, productivity, so ask yourself how much does it cost to interact with you? [I’ll write a post about this one]

You can get the book on Amazon for as low as $9.99

Visit her author page for more titles: here

There are a lot more insights on branding, presence, networking and communication on her website: https://asksrenee.com/

courtesy of the author’s website: http://www.askrenee.com